G.I. Joe

0:00 you know what Brad you're the work where the talent and the share break is so morning and the market to party and the

0:35 (laughing) (upbeat music) - Hey everybody, welcome back to, Does It Hold Up? The podcast dedicated to potentially ruining your childhood and all of your fond memories that happened before Mom

1:07 and Dad got divorced and the weather got all dominated. I'm Flint. - I'm Hans de Leu. (laughing) - I don't see men. (laughing) - I win, I win, I win. (laughing) - I win, I win. - I don't know, I don't know how to lose y'all. We got the best girls. This guy does Tennessee River. - Jesus, that was a painful thing to learn. (laughing) - She has to be like, that is the worst character I've ever seen. - I don't know, you can't come up with a better record

1:39 than me. - I'm requesting anybody listening to this. I had a sport like to be addressed as Hanaleu. (laughing) Hanaleu. - Robot side. I don't, I don't know, I can't rhyme. He fucking rhymes everything. So I don't know what he's like. I'm like this, you better be able or whatever he fucking said. I'm a four-way chef and- - In case anybody has a baby. - Honey, I don't know if you're a four-way chef or not, but we got the best dang vittles in my truck, so I'm inside of the Mississippi.

2:10 - All right, all right, all right. So in case anybody has a video- - Why would they tie her up? Why would they tie her up and put her in her own truck and take her to Cobra? - Yeah. - Like that makes no fucking- (indistinct) - Okay, I love the idea. (laughing) (indistinct) - All right, I'm sorry. We'll back it up. (indistinct) Sorry, everybody. - Everybody's lost. (indistinct) So we went back and left the original G.I. Joe cartoon that aired from like, what, 1983 to 85?

2:42 - Yes. - Yeah. - And we're still Brock Brad and Amanda. - No, I'm Flint. - No, I'm Flint. - I'm Flint. - I'm definitely- (indistinct) - I think you're right. I'm sorry, shipwreck. (indistinct) - The Mississippi. (indistinct) - Oh, definitely. - The horniest sailor this side of the Sahara. (laughing) - Greenwich Me time. (laughing) - Oh my God. - Yeah, so I guess a little background,

3:14 if you're our age, you know, if this was the cartoon that came on, on, you know, every day after school, I think it was before Transformers? - Yes. - Yes. - Oh, for me. I don't know. - I remember watching it for years and loving it and we decided to tackle it. And yeah. (laughing) - I'm gonna say that a lot of the things that I thought when I was younger, I still fake mail. And so I wasn't like unpleasantly surprised.

3:45 - No, no, I don't. For whatever reason, I personally just had trouble getting through the episodes, not because they were terrible. I just wasn't in the mood to watch them, for whatever reason. - Fuck you guys. (laughing) - All of them, I loved them. They were amazing. The music was the best. Like, it was so, like, I would just put it on to put it on. Like, just to have it on in the background. No. - I don't know what you need to do. - Listen. Hey, listen, I know everybody always says, "Hey, is this a broad world greatest athlete

4:17 or are they tied?" - Well, let's not do that yet. - Yeah, but I would say everybody says, "I'm the one who says nothing holds up." But, this one. I mean, this one, I mean, it just, it fucking just felt right. Like, it just feels like, (laughing) I love Dom. Like, I've got a ton of notes for how dumb it is, but it just feels right. Feels right. It's like a, it's like a warm blanket. Like, you're just like telling me about it. Yeah. I mean-- - We never got it checked on Brad since COVID.

4:48 Like, I feel like-- - I mean, I mean, (laughing) I'll watch the first episode of the Weathered Dominator one. And when Flit goes, sneak a snake spelled sideways. - Oh, it is? - Yes, I'm like, "Fuck yeah, it is. Fuck yeah." (laughing) I think it's spelled same. And yeah, fuck yeah, Cobra Commander. Bring it on. You're not gonna get that. Like-- - I don't know where to do it through watching this. (laughing) - Jesus Christ. (laughing) - All right, Seaman.

5:19 (laughing) - It's all coming around. - Ah, coming. (laughing) - Christ. (laughing) - So yeah, so just, so everybody out there knows all 10 people who listen to us. Amanda and I watch-- - We have 18 listeners. We have 18 listeners. - Yes. - We're gonna buzz sprout. So let's acknowledge all 18. Thank you. (laughing) - Amanda and I-- - We love all of you. - And Amanda and I watch the first mini series, I guess you could call it, five episodes about the mass device, which-- - M-A-S-S.

5:49 - Which I couldn't remember what the hell it was about. Then we watch the one that I feel like everybody remembers. - That's Revenge of Cobra. - Revenge of Cobra, but everybody-- - But really-- - It's the weather dominance. - And that was also brought, that was also a mini series. There was another five episodes. So both of those are not art of like, it didn't start until the first episode of the real first season was called, it was The Pyramid of Darkness, which is another five period, or five episode thing, which you guys didn't watch, apparently.

6:20 - You apparently watched. - I watched and loved. And loved. - It was season two, where I'm pretty sure everything jumped the shark, 'cause that's when sort of a mentor came in. - Dude, listen. - Dude, listen. Brad watched all of it. Brock and I told-- - I've just a ton of shit. And I will watch every episode of season one. Season one is terrific. Season two can go fuck itself, as far as-- - It's hard to go with that, huh? - No, yeah. As soon as they, I mean, even the supreme tour shit, which I was like, "Okay, I'm gonna give it a try." But the first five episodes of season two

6:51 are the supreme tour rise, supreme tour rise, or renters, what it's called. And they try, that's when they bring in Sergeant Slaughter, who is some fucking wrestler, who wasn't even in the fucking army ever. He's some fucking poser bullshit, stolen glory motherfucker bullshit. - Oh my God, Brad. Are you going right way on us? - Yeah, I'm not going to do it, right? - My favorite thing about Sergeant Slaughter was when we tried to watch the movie and could barely get into it. It actually said it was, it started Don Johnson as Lieutenant.

7:21 What was his name? - Falcon. And Sergeant Slaughter as Sergeant Slaughter. - Yeah. - It was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, - Yeah, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. - I'm sorry, I'm sorry. - The movie, I couldn't even, I wasn't even get there, 'cause I knew the movie was total, like, once I got a cover up, (imitates car revving) we're done. - Yeah. - I'm with that. - Do it again, Brad. - What? - You gotta grab your atoms, Apple, and wiggle it. - I wanna hear you do the cover up. (imitates car revving) - Yeah, fuck off. Like that's horrible. That fucking kid, fuck off.

7:52 Brad, here's your Brad that. Brock found it. - Oh, boy. - Oh, oh, so apparently Cobra Law was put in as a placeholder for the name of this weird organization that Cobra Commander was a part of. - Right. - And they left it as morning to pull it out and name it something else, but Hasbro is like, no, no, no, go with it. Stupid decision. - Yeah, they're like, fuck it, we don't give a shit. Like, whatever, we're making balls money. Like, let's just go for it. - I mean, while we're watching this the entire time, I'm like, this is a, like a cash cow dream.

8:25 Like, there's so many toys here, it's insane. - That was me through watching the whole thing. It was like, we had that, we had that. I remember that. - Okay. - I agree with that, but here's the thing. I feel like Brock, we had the shit. Most of the shit, we had it before it was in the cartoon. I feel like we had, we had the, like in the first, in the mass device, there are no his tanks, we had a his tank before that. There's no, like, they, like, I feel like they put them in, they put the, I feel like they-

8:57 - They put the toys before them. - No, they put the toys into the cartoon. Like, yeah. The sky striker was in the mass, like, okay, that might have been like, 'cause it was the first- - Can you explain something in the mass device? Do you steal one? - No, I'm saying that might be, the star striker might be, like that's one that is in the, that's in the first episode, yeah. That's where they're going, that's where Major Blood, who is my favorite Cobra character,

9:27 but just- - Millie? - Disappears that Major Blood is the best. - I don't remember you having Major Blood. - I had, so Amanda, I had a Major Blood, and there is a Major Blood who is living in the bottom of Lake Winnipasaki, (laughing) in the hand of sure, or not, it's about two hours north. - That's why Paz takes off, and we have all the money, we're gonna go scuba diving. - We're gonna find my fucking Major Blood. - We're gonna find him. - We're gonna find Major Blood.

9:58 - We're gonna find Major Blood. - Listen, Patreons, put it on the plate. We are gonna train Lake Winnipasaki to find my Major Blood, that I love. (laughing) I don't even want to know what's at the bottom of that lake, like, that's pretty clear, we could probably see Bursa. No, they used to have muscle, Brock, you remember that place? They had muscles in the bottom, like, our Uncle Neil, like-- - It's beautiful. - Yes, Chris, Uncle Neil, he would go down, he would go down, they'd got a bunch of muscles

10:30 off the ground, and just pick them up, and like, we went back to the house, like, we ate muscles that night, and it was like-- - Oh, that sounds amazing. - It was, no, well Lake Winnipasaki is amazing, but terrifying. - You're making your Major Blood. - Well, it did consume my Major Blood, but I'll let it go, yeah. Major Blood-- - You like Major Blood better than Destro? - No, I don't, no, we'll not say that, no. - Okay, 'cause I like Destro. - No, well, I guess my point was that, I guess I should clarify,

11:01 is that Destro stays relevant through all of this stuff, like, he's still around. Major Blood disappears in season two of like, actually, he disappears really in season one of the whole fucking show. - Tomax and Xamod and Zartan. - Oh, Tomax and Zartan, and they fucking hire out Zartan. Oh, geez, don't even start with Zartan. They fucking hire him out all the time, and he's terrible, and he's got like, three to five of booms, depending on which

11:32 episode you're watching, of his dreadnocks, and they're terrible, they're terrible people. He should not be a social-- - Zartan is-- - I think Zartan is such a great guy. - He's just an hip, I don't think Brad saying he's a bad person. - Oh, I thought you were-- - No, no, no, he's an hip. - I mean, I guess an hip, I mean, I guess it's like, it's like Trump hiring in that people. He's in that, why we're commanding in that, and he hires in that people like Zartan. Actually, Zartan's not an hip, it's Zartan,

12:03 he defers it to in that people. They're dreadnocks, buzzer, and-- - Oh my god, you know that. - Foot porch, and-- - That's what the orange and yellow hair is. - I'm sorry, the orange one just killed up in the movie, I had no idea who that was. - Cindy Lapper. - What happened? - There's a female dreadnock that showed up in the movie. - That's Zartan, that's Zartan's sister. - I said Cindy Lapper. - Well, there we go, okay, thank you. I had no idea who the hell that was. - So, Brad, what do you mean if it says him and her and the mainframe fall in love?

12:35 'Cause she's pretending to be-- It's a pretty good episode, it's a heartfelt story, like it's pretty-- - It's like a very special G.I.G. - Yeah. - Yeah. - The two power couples in G.I.J. are Flint and Lady J, and Destro and the Baroness. - Yeah, using-- - No, Flint's not, no, Flint's not with Lady J's. No, I think-- - Flint's part of the Duke. - I think Duke is with Scarlet more than-- - Yeah.

13:06 - I feel like-- - I feel like Duke and Scarlet, like they're the ones that got all the screen time, but-- - I feel like Lady J's-- - I mean, no offense, but I feel like Flint's trying to get with Lady J, and she keeps trying to tell him, I'm not interested. That's not how I explain-- (laughing) Like, listen to me, that's just not where I am. You're not-- (laughing) And I feel like Duke is sexually harassing Scarlet the whole time. - Oh, yes, absolutely. - I do want to get in, I do want to ask you more about Duke

13:36 because obviously we didn't see all the episodes, but there's something about Duke that I figured out that I don't like, and I just want to see if he gets any better with that as we get further into it, but I can-- - You may, because-- Hold on, my notes are here, I think it says, Duke is a bad soldier, it's what my notes say, because-- - Well, he's constantly getting caught. - You get caught in both of the fucking-- Yes, exactly, he's caught in both of them. He's fucking terrible. Like, yeah. - But no, okay, so I'll go ahead. So my thing with Duke is, Duke is what I was always afraid,

14:06 Captain America would be if they ever tried to make a Captain America movie, where he's just cheesy, goody, goody, - And stupid. - Unlikeable, and an idiot, like, just a bad soldier, like you said. - He's a Boy Scout too much, though. He's a Boy Scout-- - Yeah, is it a boy Scout? Is he a Boy Scout for the playing player? - Yes. - What I watch so in the traffic-- - Is that what I remember? No, I remember when I was with Brock, what actually happens in the rest of the episodes, he gets pushed out. Like, Hawk comes in, General Hawk comes in,

14:36 and Duke is kind of like, he's actually, him and Flynn actually get pushed. I wanna talk about the fucking, who's the fucking charge? Because if you go look it up, Duke's a Sergeant. Flynn is a war officer. Hawk is obviously a General, so he's technically in charge, but he doesn't show up until, like, episode, whatever. I mean, like, 80. Like, so they're all being run by a single-- - There's no officers.

15:07 - No, there's no officer at all, like-- - Yeah. - Is it still, like, captain or-- - Captain, yeah. - Like that, yeah. - Where's the brother bar who's, like, fresh out of, like, GI Joe's school, who's gonna run the fucking-- There isn't any of that shit, like, it's, I mean-- (laughing) - We watched some of GI Joe's school. - Well, honestly, the big, another big problem I had, and this was just on me, is that at the same time we were trying to watch GI Joe, I actually re-watch Band of Brothers. - So-- - Oh, Christ. - I'm just like, "Oh, God, yes, yes, yes."

15:38 You know, I'm watching this really realistic, really excellent, you know, Joe, about real, you know, soldiers, and then I put GI Joe on it. I'm just like, "Ugh." It was bad, dude, I'm like-- - Wait, you weren't surprised that in Band of Brothers, the Nazis were shooting at all of them, they didn't, they missed every time? - Yeah, yeah, I know-- - Like, none of them did-- - And the-- - Don't be dying during D-Day, they all jumped out and had parachutes. - Yeah, a parachute. Listen, okay, I'm not gonna knock it for that. Like, it's a kid's show. - I know, me either. It's a kid's show. - Yeah, it's a kid's show.

16:09 But I will say this, and I was mentioning this to Kelly earlier, is that all the Cobra people are fucking buff, like, they are fucking, and they're wearing, like, they're wearing, like, skin-tight clothes, like, you-- - And they're all white. - You can see, no, but you can see, that's true, too. But you can see-- - They're all white. The terrorist organization is all white. - But you can see ass cracks, you can see, like-- - Oh, yeah. - They're buck crack. I mean, I think-- - Even though-- - I mean, the linebacker was buff, and he was, he looked like he was 50.

16:41 - No, I'm better than this one, yeah. He's like, I'm gonna hit the, fuck you, I gotta hit the weights tonight, like, yeah. (laughing) - Destro, it's still the best. - Yeah, they will-- - On the Cobra side. - Yeah, and that's a good point, yeah. - I had a really fun conversation on Twitter with some people that I'm friends with and brought up GI Joe. And evidently, people of our generation, the men and women of our age, all really felt like Flint and Lady J could get it.

17:15 Like, that was where it went. - Good, get it, what? - What did that mean? - Sorry, they were hot. Both Lady J and Flint, like, it seems like they came in. It's like how it's all over being better than-- - You know, I was always a cover girl. She was the-- - What would it mean? - Cover girl. - Did you want a cover girl or redhead cover? - Right? - It didn't matter. (laughing) - So what was it called? - She drove that badass tank. - That wall, she drove that wall of rain with a fucking rocket launcher, so I was all in. - That was an amazing toy.

17:46 - Yeah. (laughing) - It's amazing. - It had like 800. - She went ahead with this. - She told us this was, yeah. It was a good toy. - We always kind of like cover girl. I never really liked Scarlet's outfit. I had, I mean, even as a kid, I was like, "That's a stupid outfit." - A yellow leotard and something like that. - Whatever the outfit. - Right? - Yeah. - You had a problem with their wardrobe, is what you're saying? - Yes, yes, I actually did. (laughing) I realized that, I don't know, this isn't Scarlet, never did it. - Well, okay, in the very beginning of the mass device, which I just watched just now before we started the record,

18:18 fucking Duke totally sexually harasses her. - Yes. - And it's like, okay, what's the 80s? Let's do it, baby. Like, so bad. It was so bad. - I'm gonna show you my mass device. - Right. (laughing) - That looks lovely. - I'm gonna hang out with the slave girl, and he's like, giving her a ring. - Oh god, no, the sleep, that, oh god. - And then when they rescue Scarlet and the slave girl, he, Duke's got a girl on each arm,

18:49 like through the rest of the series. Duke is, Duke is the man, he is. (laughing) No, but it is, I'll tell you, like you said, you guys watched the first, so the way it worked was, they did a mini series of, which was the mass device, the one we're talking about. Then he had another mini series, which was the Revenge of Cobra, which we all know is the Weather Dominator. And then they actually start the season of the show, right? - Right. - It is a, it is a complete change.

19:23 Like Cobra is this sleazy, like horrible place in the, in the mass device, at least for me. They have slaves, they have like this fucking pit of doom, like, and then they turn into just like your generic bad guy in the Weather Dominator. Did you guys feel aware? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Like they start off as like a serious terrorist subjugating the meek kind of thing. Like you're like, "Oh, whoa, this is, no." And then they abandoned that kind of,

19:53 I don't, I, I guess it's subjugating people and just go for world domination and stealing the Eiffel Tower and... - Well, that was something that I found interesting is that when I watched this, you know, they say in the beginning of every episode, you know, with Cobra, a ruthless terrorist organization bent on world domination or whatever. And as a kid, it was like terrorists, they're just bad guys. - No, terrorists are a completely different man. - Right. - than everybody re-watching it.

20:24 It's in context, everybody, oh yeah, 9/11, you know, or whatever. - Yeah, and as a kid, I remember thinking like, why in the hell are they following Cobra Commander? Because this guy is an absolute... - Oh, no, he's terrible. He is terrible. It should be fun. - In the mass device, they explain because he's kind of like, he has all the money and all the context, he's the financer. - No, but okay, so I watch, okay. So the first five episodes of the pyramid, which are the first episode, or the first season, is the, it's called the Pyramid of Darkness.

20:55 And Tomax and Vamai are the actual, they have a corporation and they are financing Cobra Commander. So they actually try to take him over at one point during the five episodes. So it's weird that like, yeah, he's a fucking, I don't understand why anybody, he is a, to be, I wanna try to say a word, but I said earlier tonight to Kelly, oh, not say it's word anymore because it's a bad word,

21:25 as far as gender. - Is that a bad word? - No, it wasn't Trump, it wasn't Trump. He gives it a P and N's and a Y. So I'm not gonna do it with him. But the Cobra Commander is that and Dastro should totally be the head of Cobra. They would win if they just listen to him, although he does have his moments 'cause he's the day the year two. - He gets, he ends up with control during the weather dominator series at some point. And it's like a ghost to his head.

21:56 - No, that was the master's. - Was it the master's? - Yeah. - Okay. - 'Cause he gets mad at Cobra Commander for trying to destroy New York. And then when he, with Dastro put those commands and then they don't give in, he gets mad and goes to destroy New York. - He's like, dude. That's exactly what you were just pissed off about Cobra Commander doing. - I would say this, Cobra needs to work, they put fucking Trump to shame on the branding stuff. Like everything, everything with the fucking, we got a plane, we're gonna make them out, we're gonna make the front of the plane

22:26 look like a fucking snake 'cause we're fucking-- - It does. - Like every fucking thing. Like we're gonna have a, in the way that, we're gonna have a fucking palace come out of the ground, everything that snakes are in the mast device, we're gonna have snakes everywhere who are just asking for people's identification. So. - We were talking about that, I was like, there's snakes everywhere, they're not doing a lot. Like they're threatening. - Well, and the commander also pisses a lot more in the mast device for us. - He does. No, he definitely does.

22:57 He definitely drags his ass out a lot more than, in any other-- - Why do we suddenly wear a hood in the weather dominator? That always bothered me as a kid. - I'm telling you why, I told you before, it's a new toy. - It's making masks, it's hot. - Yeah. - Come on. (all laughing) - We're in the coat, we're in the coat. We felt the face mask are hot, so he went to the hood, it's a pretty small. - Okay, that makes-- - Or is it that Shipwreck wanted him to wear a different like a hood? - Oh God, are we getting the Shipwreck now? (all laughing)

23:28 The whole thing morning, 40 Shipwreck? (all laughing) - Seriously, the entire time that he was in the weather dominator part, it was like, Jesus, he just will not relent. - No, I mean, that's true for, I watched, I probably watched another 20 episodes after that one, right? - Did you call me Amanda, my name is Honda Loo. - I'm sorry, Honda Loo, Honda Loo, after I watched, and he, like at one point he basically, he's like, hey Scarlet, let's go out and get Spaghetti,

24:01 I know this great place off base gives Spaghetti, and then she slaps him in one of the episodes, I was like, oh my God. (all laughing) - Like this is like, we're just like, here we go, sexual harassment straight up, we're gonna like, no, he goes after her, he goes after Lee Jay, it's like, and then, I mean, then he ended up having sex with a mermaid, so it's all good. - Right, her name's Mara. - Mara. - That's what happens in the episode, we didn't get to, oh God. - Her name's Mara, and she's like a genetically altered, like half eel half.

24:34 - He definitely has sex with her. - Oh, they've never made that for a bone, yeah. - I mean, we didn't see his actual, I mean-- - Dude, was there a little baby mermaid with a sailor's hat on? I mean, you have a little proof of both? - No, but I'll tell you this, what happened, it happened is like she, obviously they can't stay together, right? 'Cause she was a mermaid and he's a man. - It's like splash, yeah. - Yeah, exactly. No, so she looked, so, but there's another episode, I mean, later in the first season where they're trying to find a, shit, okay.

25:05 There's a doctor that has a formula that will turn water into a bomb, right? And-- - Of course. - So the entire ocean is gonna be a bomb? - Right, so, wait, hold on, let me finish this, make sure, if you would let me finish. So he's escaped, and Lady J and Shipwreck have found the guy, and what happens is he uses some sort of device

25:37 to like, he puts, I don't even know what he does, he fucking puts up on his fucking forehead that transfers the knowledge of the formula into his brain, right? But-- - From the doctor to-- - The doctor, the doctor to Shipwreck. - But, but he then gives the passcode to Lady J to get it out, right? And then they try to get back to the flag,

26:07 which is the big battleship they're all on, right? And then shit happens, his little shark thing blows up and blah, blah, blah, and so, what happened, no, what happened, no, this, I mean, hold on, wait, it gets better, wait, I'm getting to the point where it actually makes sense. - So Shipwreck wakes up, and he's being told it was like six years later, like he fell off a ladder, he's okay. Like, GI Joe has been dispersed,

26:39 Cobra's been defeated, Lady J died years ago during the flag, when it got, the flag which is the battleship, when it got sunk. And so, and Moore's there, Moore's his wife, he has a kid. And what it is is Cobra's up this fake fucking town where they're trying to get the formula out of him, so they like basically have him in this town the whole time. And every night, at night, they like pick him up and they take him somewhere and try to get him to like,

27:09 they were like reading like code words to him. So he will figure out the fucking, whatever the formula is. - Were you yelling passwords at him? - Yeah, there you go, Pat, I was like, four, two, three, four, no, two, three, four, five. Yeah, no, I want, Brock, I kid you not at one point, they say, I'm sorry, Flint at one point, they say, we're gonna read him everywhere in the dictionary and they have him laying on the table

27:40 and they're just starting with like, Abba, Abba, like, they just start going for the fucking picture. - Aw, Flint. - This was still season one or is this season two? - Season one. - I didn't realize, I don't remember Shipwreck being such a big character. - I guess he was? - Yeah, he was. Do you know mom loves Shipwreck? We used to watch, I mean, remember her lovin' her. - Shipwreck was the teenage male hormone impetus. - Okay, that's a really big word you just use.

28:13 - Yeah. - Teenage? - Yeah, I will say this though. I mean, I don't know, okay, we can agree with that. Oh, so this, there are a lot of dad jokes in this cartoon. Did you guys care about that? Like, all the dad jokes. - Oh, a roadblock. - A roadblock is just a dad joke machine, yeah. - Yeah, he's a poet. He's the couplet master. - I mean, I just felt like most of the dialogue was pretty cheesy, but it's a kids show. - That was, you know what Brad, that was something funny that we were like watching it, Brock was like,

28:45 God, there's like no downtime. It's just like, you know, it's like, yeah, but it's like battles of battles of battle. I didn't know, I didn't know why they did it. - Yeah, no. - It was a jarring. - No, it really was like-- - But it's like, I know this is the fifth episode and they're still in the middle of this huge battle. How are they gonna wrap all this up? And then boom, boom, boom, boom, it's over. - It was, I mean, it was a good observation. I mean, it kept us all, like, think about it. - I would say the music for the first two miniseries before it gets a real serious,

29:18 it's phenomenal, it's great. It's-- - I just had the same thing. - But the music is, it's like, and you're like, oh yeah, I'm into it, let's go. Like, yeah, fucking it, let's get Cobra, whatever they're doing, right? It's great, but it changes the regular season. They don't have, it's not as, it's not as, like, the soundtrack isn't like the whole time. So it's like, okay, like, there's a low point kind of sometimes, you're like, all right, I mean, no, those first two,

29:49 the mass device and the weather don matter or the revenge of Cobra for everything. Yeah. - We all gotcha. - It is, like, the music, it's just, yeah, it's like, okay, all right, we're getting blown up here, no, let's go. But we're going, it's like, it is amazing. - The sound effect that they use for, like, the worms of death and anything that's like evil, I don't even know how to describe that in the ways. The worms of death, what are those?

30:19 - Oh, in the mass device, the big tubular worms? Yeah. - Yeah, those are, yeah, I don't even know what the, I don't even know what the, - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that scene of the program shows up there, like, I don't know what we're gonna do, we gotta go in the water, and then Torpy is like, "Hey, how are you, Joe's here, I come." (both laughing) That is great, it is ridiculous. - The funny thing that he goes up and brought goes, "We had that toy." (both laughing) - And I also noticed, like, the animation style got significantly better-- - It didn't get better.

30:50 - Between the device and the denominator, and so you didn't watch any of the movie, right, friend? - No, I didn't go there. But I-- - I didn't-- - You should just watch the opening theme to me. - I don't-- - It's insane. - It's a totally different song, and it's, I don't know-- - I remember-- - It's not bad, but it's just-- - What, did you guys, did you guys, I mean, I don't know if you, but the theme, it changes from-- - Cobra and Dastro. - Well, that's, the only one that says that is Cobra and Dastro is the mass device.

31:22 When it goes through the revenge of Cobra, it says just Cobra, it's a different theme. And when it goes to season one, it's a different theme. Season two was a different theme. I don't know if you-- - It's a Cobra and one of me. - No, that's a theme. - Oh, I'm sorry. - Theme. - Oh, yeah. - No, but the song in the movie is completely different. You just have to watch, like, the first minute of it, but I thought that was interesting. 'Cause it started up, I'm like, "Oh God, I do remember this." - And I could actually sing along with it, but I didn't remember the visuals at all. - And as far as the first two mini series go,

31:55 I would say that I feel like the music was all great, except the sung, the lyrical part of the theme. I mean, it's just so cheesy, I'm sorry. It'll never give up, it'll stay-- - It's all-- - It'll be fine, it's like the way it's done is just so-- - Brock, I wish she had watched the Peering Red Darkness, which is the first five episodes of season one, because they literally get-- I mean, I know Amanda, you're going by Linda Liu tonight,

32:26 but they literally-- - Honda Liu. - Honda Liu, sorry, Honda Liu, whatever. - Honda Liu. - Honda Liu. - Honda Liu, yeah. - Doesn't matter. - It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter, but they literally shipwrecked and Snake Eyes literally walked into a bar, and the Sayer in the bar, they get up on stage, and this is, I think I text you about it, because Snake Eyes breakdances-- - I knew it! (laughing) - We were talking about this the other day,

32:57 and we were saying that, you know, Brad said we had to watch this episode, because like the most '80s thing in the world happens, and I quite literally said-- - Early, yep. - Did Snake Eyes breakdance or something? - Earlier today, we were talking about it. He was like, "You guys don't speak." - And they breakdances. - And it's like, and then, so like, Cobras, and they're in some city that is run by Cobra, the Cobra state, whatever it is, and they're like waiting for him on the stage, and they're like doing like, they're doing the Rockettes kicks,

33:29 like to say, and then Snake Eyes gets down, and he starts breakdancing, and that's how they fucking get out, and they're like, "We can't arrest them. "They're doing a routine. "Let's basically would ask them." (laughing) - They're breakdance fighting. (laughing) - It's still fucking bad. - You know what, or horrified that I-- - Holy, you should be proud. - It's probably buried in my subconscious. - I was like, yeah, you-- - I get this in there, I get this in there. (laughing) - It's terrific. I mean, Snake Eyes, I love Snake Eyes. He's great.

34:00 He, I mean, he's somehow breakdances, and does a backspin on his fucking samurai swords that are his backs. He figures that out, I mean. - Yeah, that's what's right. - Oh, Jesus. (laughing) - Okay, speaking of Snake Eyes, I do have to go to in the mass device, which we all watched, right? Snake Eyes, he recovers the radio active material, right? And there's the Irish-Scottish--

34:33 (laughing) - Oh, God, and he's so Scottish, it's because I was like, he's not the first-- - I know, who lives in, who lives in Antarctica, whatever, he fights the bear off for Snake Eyes and saves him and his container of radio active material, right? And this is what Snake Eyes meets Timber, which is his wolf. His wolf, which was, Timber was awesome. I love Timber, I'm not knocking that, but they get back to GI Joe headquarters.

35:04 - Yes. - And Snake Eyes is there with his wolf, Timber, how the fuck does anybody know his name? - Exactly, oh my God, I said the same thing! Yes, how does anybody know? Did he write it down with a million pounds? - Lady Jay figures it out somehow when they all get poisoned by the canister of cobra, like, and that part would make it sense, because that part didn't make any sense either,

35:35 because they got to the radio active material before cobra did, right? They got the fucking material. Why is it in a cobra canister that is going to them poison everybody? - Yeah, that ends up turning into a smoke, like, the first good bomb, like, yeah. And then, and that's-- - Some of it is just-- - Hey Brad, this was a show for children. Like, you didn't pick up on it, you didn't pick up on it with your kid. Still, they got it right.

36:05 - I was talking about, as you guys were talking about, how didn't they know what the dog's name was, and I'm sitting here thinking, maybe Snake Eyes told him. He doesn't talk, so I caught up. - Sign language. - He had a tag, now you made a tag for him. - Oh, yes. - Sorry, this dog is Timber, yeah. (laughing) - He was passing those-- - Well, I had issues with the whole, Snake Eyes is completely and horribly radioactive. The weird Santa Claus dude finds them. There is a pile of leaves, and then burns the leaves,

36:36 which somehow removes the radioactivity. - I don't know what-- - I feel like that one scene totally messed up my idea of what radiation poisoning was. - I don't understand why they didn't do that for Chernobyl. - Yeah, why didn't they just blanket Chernobyl and leave to them? (laughing) - Really, I just, is that what happened? I don't remember that. That's what he does? - Yeah. - It's like he's got him in the bed. He can't see him because I guess he's naked, you know? - Oh. - And 'cause he has his clothes, and he picks up whatever's on him. It looks like leaves. He walked over, throws it in the fire,

37:07 and then Snake Eyes is cured. - Mm-hmm. God. - He's a witch. - And she did it again. (laughing) But maybe not make it radiation. 'Cause I mean, I don't know, that was, that was just kind of weird. And he's walking through and he's like glowing, so it's like you can see the radio-- - Yeah, here things were shit. - I can't show. - Yeah. - But-- (laughing) - I'm gonna play this. - I thought you should have bled out of his rectum and done. (laughing) - I'm really surprised in the one other diamond, everyone. How great, everyone is a fucking hockey player. Ice skater wise.

37:38 - Yes. - Like-- - Yeah, ice skaters. - Amazing. - I don't know if they have ice skates, but they go-- - They think it's safe. - But Slapper, they have shoes that have slots to slide the blade in. - You know what? - Yeah. - But Brad, I'll even give him like, okay, maybe you were super prepared 'cause you knew you were going somewhere cold, and you had the ability to slide those things onto your feet. But how many of those people were actually good ice skaters? Like, that takes a lot of like, inner thigh musculate. Yeah, no. - Not even that.

38:08 It's just hard. - It's hard. - You try turning, like, okay, you can make yourself-- - And then, and one of the guys, like, snows, dustrow, and somebody else, like-- - It was like, don't even know. - Yeah. - Yeah. - I mean-- - All of them do, they all can do that. They're all like, yeah, so-- (laughing) - It's like a bunch of Canadian-- no offense Canadians. You guys are good ice skaters. I'll make it a compliment here. The bunch of bunch of Canadians are just like, shaving ice onto other, like, non ice skaters everywhere. Yeah. - Yeah, 'cause G.I.J. was a real American hero, dammit.

38:39 - Like, Canadian, hero. - Sure. - Okay, so you guys watched, okay, you guys said you watched both of the series, right? At the end of both series, do you remember what they said? The very end. - I didn't know I was gonna be quizzed. - Okay. So, all right, so this is what they say. This is the message, I guess, from like this, they're like, nobody's perfect, but we do okay.

39:09 (laughing) They, in the mass device one, they put the fucking Eiffel Tower back in London. - Oh, yes, yes, because the guy's like, "Hey, yeah, that's right." And he screws that up, and then with the-- - That's what they said at the end of both of those two miniatures. - Yep. - Nobody's perfect, but we do okay. And I'm like, that's not acceptable. Like, this is our elite fighting force. Like, we just-- (laughing) - You know, that terrorist organization

39:39 blew up that building, but, you know, you can't save every building. We did okay. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah. - For us. - I'll participate in trophy. (laughing) - Yeah, 'cause I thought that was funny too, 'cause in both miniseries, Duke gets captured, and at the very end, the guy, the generic dude with the helmet, who I guess is the computer guy, who has a name, but I don't know what the hell it is, screws up. You can see Eiffel Tower in London, and he makes it snow with G.I., go ahead. - Grunt, his name is Grunt.

40:10 - Grunt? - Grunt? - His name is Grunt. - His name is Grunt, yeah. - Did you put much thought into that one? - Yeah, that was a really weak, yeah. They were just like, "Oh, grunt." - That was the other thing. Like, I found in the mass device one, obviously they were figuring things out. Like, the animation wasn't quite as crisp, but there were also just a lot of just kind of generic guys in the background, and then when you got into the weather dominator, there was, you know, mud, and shipwreck, you know, the horny bastard, and you had just a lot more, like, more established people.

40:41 - Speaking of shipwreck, did you know this Cobra had a paper? A newspaper? (laughing) - Yes. I was like, "Yeah, I said that." - You're reading, it's like Cobra news. He's in the bar, he's reading. (laughing) - I don't give you eyes, I said, "Hey, look, "I'm making fun of all this, "but it's still fucking fabulous." - Yeah, well, I'm glad you liked it as much as you did. So, yeah, so do we wanna actually, like, go into the stories behind the mass device

41:11 in the weather dominator, or are you having fun? - I mean, I don't know. We're gonna, yeah, we can do that. - We don't have to. - You wanna talk about certain episodes that you saw, I mean. - I have no preference here, like, this is for the listener, I don't know. (laughing) Listener, would you like to, wait, hold on, that's not gonna work. (laughing) So, I'm looking over my notes here to see if there's anything else like, everybody's such a good ice skater, no, okay. Giajo headquarters is in the middle of fucking nowhere,

41:46 and they have this big ass fucking gun in the front of it. - Dad, what is that for? - What the fuck is that for? And also, wait, I do have another, in the first opening credits, the one for the mass device, Cobra is in Giajo headquarters, and they're attacking Giajo headquarters to get it back. What happened there? Why don't I have that story? How did you get that? I want that story. That's what's going on in that fucking opening's credit scene. - And then one of the things for me was,

42:17 like, when we were watching it, Brock would be like, "Ooh, this is gonna happen now." Like, the guy at the piano player in the bar, he was like, "Oh, wait." - Oh, yeah, of course. - This guy's here to keep playing piano a while ago. - Well, he's dressed in the Cobra uniform with his mask off, and I'll tell you this, Cobra is COVID-19 friendly. They do the right thing. - Yeah, they were ahead of their time, man. - Yep, everybody had a mask. They were just to say-- - Destro had steel on his head. Does it get more-- - Destro for the man.

42:47 - Do you know the reason why he has steel on his head? - I don't. - No idea. - I want some backstory. - Do you guys want the backstory? - Yes, please. - Yes. - All right, do you want the comic book version or the-- - Yes. - Whatever. - I want the comic book. - I want the comic book. - Well, I mean, they're similar. They're very similar. So I'll just give you a general version. And everybody who, I might get this wrong, I apologize, but basically what happened was his ancestors were caught doing some bad deeds.

43:20 I can't remember if they're stealing shit or what, in like the, he's from Scotland. That's just Scottish, apparently. - Wait, are we-- - It makes-- - 'Cause our ancestors stole horses. - But it makes no sense 'cause he has no Scottish accents. So fuck. - That's true. - They beat it out of it. - He's like whatever, great, great, great, great grandfather who was forced to wear this steel mask to show that he was a fucking asshole who stole stuff and all that. And so what they did to like, they totally trumped it up

43:50 is they went the other way from where like, hey, we're all gonna wear the mask, fuck off. Like, the mask are great, they reclaimed it. They reclaimed it, yeah, and that's why he wears a mask, yep. - That's what happened with the mask even work. - It broke into cartoon. - I know that. (laughing) - That was honestly something that always bothered me 'cause it was obviously steel. And he would get like the one scene where Cobra Commander throws the stick at him and it hits. And it sounds like it's hitting metal, but he was very, he could really like move his face.

44:22 - I'm saying, "Destros the Man." - He's awesome, but-- - "Destros the Man" and the iron mask. - And all I'm saying is that there's a bunch of episodes, hidden episodes, where all everybody in Cobra is doing is working out. Like, they're just fucking, they're hitting that fucking gym. Like, they're just like fucking pumping the eye 'cause even the regular Cobra officers and the Cobra other people, they're fucking buff as shit in every fucking scene. You're like, holy shit, they're fucking, they're all wearing skin-tight outfits.

44:56 And I mean, Cobra Commander's digging it, I think. That's his thing, that's his jam. - I'm saying Brad, you, you-- - Wait, wait, wait, wait. I wanna hear the theory of the homo-rotic subtext of GI Joe. Brad collected all the homo-rotic stuff. And you collected all of it. Sorry, what was that? - It's not homo-rotic, it is just erotic. (laughing) - The action figures weren't, I mean, they were relatively horrible. The Cobra, like, vehicles were awesome. They were the best.

45:26 - Yeah. - They were all better. - I was actually-- - Brad was better than the Sky Striker. The hiss was better than the whatever the hell they were. - Brad, I was actually asking-- - Yes, the-- - The tank, yeah, the tank, like, it moved on. So what was it called, the-- I can't remember if the tank was called. - I was actually asking Brad, I was like, how did Brad end up with all the Cobra stuff and you being brought, ended up with all the GI Joe stuff? And he said, it just sort of happened. - I think it just happened. - Like, neither were the other-- - It happened that way. So it meant it happened that way. And then on the flip side, I had the Autobots

46:00 and Brock had the-- - The Sceptic ones? - Yeah, so it just-- Right, I mean, that's-- - That was the only way to split the difference. - Yeah, and to be honest, in the very beginning, when I had Cobra, I had shit, there was nothing. There was-- (laughing) And there were like five characters. It was Deathstroke, Cobra Commander, Cobra Officer, and Cobra, like, villain, and then made your blood. And Cobra-- - Oh, man, I'm sorry. - No, and Cobra Officer and Cobra,

46:30 whatever the other guy, I can't remember what he's called, but they were the-- - I think it was in Cobra. It just said Cobra. - Yeah, it was the same-- (indistinct chatter) - Yeah. - Oh, and here it was all impressive. Like, you can land better, Brad. - And we used all of our flag points on the back and we sent all for-- - Yes, Brock, what's going on? - We sent all for Duke? Yeah, we sent all for Duke, yeah. Duke who is a real fucking asshole. Duke is like the boy scout nobody likes. Duke's a fucking--

47:01 - Duke's a cheese ball. Like, there's-- - He seems in the master vice where they're trying to-- - Not any better either. In general, Hawke is, he's another fucking weird guy who wears the fucking battle you've formed and never is in a battle. It's like, all right, what was there like? - That's the explain. - Flint's the guy. That's the guy you follow into battle. - No, I don't know. He's a-- I don't know if Flint's the-- I'd follow Roadblock or Gunho. I don't know. I don't know if he's really like sailor guys. I was like, I don't wear anything but a fist.

47:33 And I've got this great-- - Brad, are you probably supposed to go to the battle? - No, I'm not following any of these guys in the battle together. - So I don't remember many of the individual episodes, but there is one in particular that I've never been able to forget at least part of it. - All right. - It's the one with Dr. Mindbender and his gum that he was like, he was like, care for a stick of gum. And it would help him control people. Did you get to that one?

48:04 - I did. I fucking-- - I remember you, right? - I mean, it certainly did, Brock. And that one, it's called, it's like Soldier for Day. I think it's what it's called, the episode. And it's Leatherneck and fuck. It's three guys and they're basically like, they're like back in Nam, like revisiting Nam. And they like break up some guys on a boat who are given the material that's being made into the gum.

48:34 And then they get caught like, yeah, Dr. Mindbender's trying. It's the gum that makes people do whatever he wants there. And he's like, yeah, but he says it like four times. Could you care? Like he's got him in like a fucking cage in the trees. And he's like, would you care for a stick of gum? It's like, yeah, and that's what I remember. And I don't say that. - Brock says that. - I say it all the time. I feel like care for a stick of gum. - All right, all right. All right. That one is, I'm flipping through the list. - No, they're the kids in it.

49:06 They're the kids that are like, they call them dust kids. And they're like, they're like, they're lower than dirt. They're called dust kids. And then Leatherneck, like, he saves one of them for something. I don't forget what there's going on. And then he, they're like, no one's ever helped us. So we'll help you. And then, yeah. And Leatherneck is some bullshit, like, second season ring guy who nobody, like, I never had him as an action figure. He's a fucking, I, bullshit guy.

49:36 Like, I mean. - So the dust kids makes me think of the Molly Ringwald movie with like the small children that we're like seeing and throwing bombs. - That would be space hunter. We covered that in a previous episode on a previous episode. - That was our last episode, Amanda. We just covered that. - So dust kids. - But I'm looking at these. - Sorry, our cat is going a little nuts and it makes me nervous because.

50:07 - It's gonna attack the podcast and ruin it? What's gonna happen? (laughs) - I don't know, I'm gonna, okay, go ahead. - Now, Dr. Meimbinter was a weird character. Like, but he is, so he's the one who actually comes up with the plan to make Sir Pentor, which they get all of the great DNA, but they fucking, they don't get, I think it's Genghis Khan. It's the one that GI Joe's fuck up with. Or they fuck up and they don't get, right?

50:38 So then they're like, let's get Sergeant Slaughter he has. And then Sergeant Slaughter is so fucking all into the episode. It's disgusting 'cause it's horrible. He's horrible, fuck you, I mean, listen, I get it, you're wrestling guy, you do your thing, but in GI Joe, we're at World. It's like, all of a sudden they throw this character and it's terrible. He's terrible. And all he does is yell the whole fucking time. I'm like, God damn it, and I'm like,

51:11 you're the best fucking, what I found hilarious is he's supposed to be the best fucking soldier ever, right? In this, he's gonna train the Joe's, he's gonna be the best soldier ever. And then I go look up this guy's Wikipedia page and I mean, it's not fake. He's the rapper. - Yeah, it's like, yeah, it's like, am like, the fuck man, come on. - Yeah. - Come on. - It would be like having Mr. T show up as be a Barakas or something

51:42 and pretending to be him from 18. And you're like, that's not a real guy, you know, what the hell. And I remember that happening a lot in the 80s, where it would just like these random characters would be brought in for reasons that didn't mean to make sense. - So I've got another great little fact, an episode you guys didn't watch, right? So the first five episodes of first season, it's called "The Pyramid of Darkness", right? And so what Cobra's doing is they are,

52:12 they have attacked a space satellite. The first episode, they attack a space satellite and they take control of it. And then they put these cubes on the four corners of the earth, whatever the fuck that means. And when they-- - It's flat, Brad, Brad, the Earth is flat. - Well, okay, well, maybe. So when they broadcast down, they can everything, all electronics, everything's done, right? So Destre and the Baroness are putting the last cube

52:44 in their place, right? And they fucking, they make it happen. The fucking thing is dark, right? And spoiler, he uses the dreadnocks up in the space satellite, which are horrible people, they fucking are idiots and they get their plan debunked. But anyway, so what happened? Destre and the Baroness are getting away from where they just placed the last one, right? And they're like on a boat and the cobra offices are rowing

53:16 and-- - They're rowing and they motor? - Both kids, yeah, 'cause the pyramid of darkness shuts out all electricity, all mirrors everywhere. Yeah. - Do you know if they want to guess? - Yes. - Okay. - Yeah, even nuclear powder. - Sorry, sorry. - Just immerse yourself in the way. - Yeah. - And just go with it. - There are no questions. - Well, maybe, but do you want to go to the science behind how this happens or do you want to do it? - There will be no questions forth with, I got it.

53:49 (laughing) - So it just, it magically evaporates all the gas and everything. All the nuclear engines are done, like everything's done, right? - Do you want to just say nuclear? - What? - I said nuclear. - Yeah, nuclear. - No, anyway. So, now anyway, so it's all done, right? Like there's no power for anything. They're rowing away. And the Baroness and Destro are together. And as Brock knows, you know, I mean, it's romantic.

54:25 They're going, they're rowing off into the sunset. And she calls him Dest Romeo. - No. - Oh, how do you, I've got to do pet name for you. - And I'm like, I'm like, this is so funny. - How do you talk to you? You're going to be Destro, and Braz going to be Steven. - Steven, I'm so Steven, yeah. - That's pretty bad. I have a question for you. Did you get to the episode called Cobra Claws

54:55 or Coming to Town? - No. - It's a Christmas episode, apparently? - No, I missed, I did not do that one. No, I didn't see it. I think I, I bought it. I don't think I have it though, I didn't want it. - Gear listeners, we're going to revisit this, just for Cobra Claws. - Yeah, it may have to be a special like 10 minute episode. - Yes. - Cobra Claws is coming to town. Sorry, Cobra Claws are coming. Wow. - All right, so does it hold up? - Yeah, I mean, I feel like this is, we've-

55:26 - Yeah, so, before I, before- - Braz got more. - And I do, so that I forgot, I had to trim my notes. I just have one more thing about the desk Romeo. So basically Cobra Commander, somehow there's still power for cameras everywhere 'cause they have cameras everywhere. It's just like, and- - Let's go with it. Just go with it. - I'm not gonna say anything. - Right, and he's like, "Guess how, what are you doing?" And he's like, "She had something in her eye." As they're fucking, make it out on the back of the boat.

55:57 I mean, it's like, it's so, it's like, what, who the fuck is this for? Kids don't get the reference. And the adults are watching this. So like, this is purely for the animators, right? Like- - Why would, yeah, why would, why would Destro care anyway? It'd be like, you know, dude, I was making out with her. - Have you seen the Baratas? - Why are you such a perv? - Right, right. - Oh man. - No, I'm still, I'm still with like, everyone is so buff in this cartoon.

56:31 Everyone has like been hitting a gym like 24/7. That's all they're doing. And they were, and they were in tight clothes. Like, that's all they fucking do. - Why don't we live here? - Do they ever explain Destro's medallion? - Ooh, they like too. - Is that what someone, first of all he's got the V cut down to his navel. - Right. - He's got medallion. - Yeah, he's kind of rocking the, the RathaCon thing. - Is that, is that a thing his medallion or is it just, they never talk about it?

57:03 - Um, I think I read on Wikipedia that that's just like a family heirloom, but nothing happens. - It's not in his face, huh? - Yeah. - It's a Scottish thing. You wouldn't understand. - I'm sorry. - medallion, it looked like a Scottish medallion. - They do look Scottish. - It's just, it's a thing of haggis, right? - Yeah. - So we, we have not talked about these episodes at all. So I don't know if anybody knows what the fuck, do we care? - I think we've covered it enough. - Yeah. I mean, I think that we've done a good job

57:34 of just kind of talking about it in general. I feel like if we started going into the specifics of each one of these miniseries that it just would, it would drag on. - And you all have see it or you haven't. - I mean, I feel like, well, why don't we talk about how we feel about the, you know, how it holds up if we feel like, and we can start with you over there, Shipwreck, 'cause you definitely-- - Steven. - I definitely think you get called up. - Steven. - How about it? - My name is Seaman and I mean, if I've got to come to a conclusion about what's going on.

58:07 I mean, if I'm going to really figure this out, like, you know, stroke out how I feel about it. (laughing) I mean-- - I'm going to beat it out of you. (laughing) - You need to beat out my answer (laughing) - I don't want to be a jerk off about this. (laughing) But yeah, this fucking holds up. I loved it.

58:37 I loved, I loved revisiting this. I thought it was great. I loved the music. The first two series, the miniseries were great. I was, I mean, I know you guys didn't watch it, but I watched the first two miniseries. They were great, the regular one, the first one's a little weird 'cause it's not quite polished. But the-- - Yeah. - They're trying to find a way a little. - The mass device? - Yeah, but the mass device is not polished, but the revenge of Cobra with the Weather Dominator is probably the five best episodes of cartoon.

59:11 - They really have to strive. - It is. - I think we made it to where like, we need to make this a season. We need to-- - Right, no, they definitely are. Holy shit, you guys really. And the weird thing is those two are written by the same guy, but none of the other episodes are written by the same guy. So, but no, it is, it is finna-- the music and those, oh, it's just great. And I know Brock, you said earlier that-- I'm sorry, Flint, you said earlier that, you know, how it jumps around like it's really fast, like, fast cut, but I loved it.

59:44 The music just keeps up with you and you're like, oh shit, yeah, here we go. It's like, it's, it's, it just starts pounding again. And you're like, oh, we're good. And so, we're getting new here. Here we go. - I'm hoping it's filled upside down. - What? - Flint, I don't know what that means. - Nah, nah, but here, nah, whatever. Something's going on, like, we're just gonna fucking, we're going with it again, here we go. Like, I don't know what's going on, I mean. And the first, I watched, like I said,

1:00:16 I watched the first five says the first season, which is called the Pyramid of Darkness. That's pretty good. It's got Zartan, it's got, well Zartan's in the weather down there, right? - Yeah. - Yeah. - Does it have Tomax and Zama in it? Do they come in? - Tomax and Zama are the ones who are in the, yeah. - Pyramid of Darkness. - Yeah, but then I watched season two, the first five episodes, which is Rise, Serpent or Rise, which has fucking Dr. Mime Mender and fucking Serpentor

1:00:49 at the end, and it's terrible. And Sergeant Slaughter, and he is the worst. He's fucking terrible, and I would, if you're gonna re-watch these episodes, which I highly recommend, don't watch after season one. Don't, I mean, like, it'll be there. - Yeah, watch the next one. - And I know the movie is terrible. Like, I know with Cobra-la-la-la-la-la, like, that's terrible. - I didn't even get shot, Julie dies, 'cause that's what Duke does.

1:01:19 - I really want that as my ringtone. - Which, the Cobra-la? - Which we would say, Cobra-la, yeah. - No, I mean, I'll give it this. If you watch the first 10 minutes of the movie, like we did, the animation is really crisp. - Yes. - It's got a bit of it more like a gritty feel than the TV show, at least the ones we watched. - But the story is just, it was just boring. - I have a Brad fact about the movie. So it was supposed to be released,

1:01:51 just like the Transformers movie was released the year earlier, but that did so poorly. Hasbro's like, they didn't release it. They didn't ever release it in the movie theater, so it was supposed to go out in the theater. - I knew that. I actually remember it not coming out in the theater, but I didn't know that it was because the Transformers movie didn't do well, 'cause I remember seeing the Transformers movie in the theater. - I did. - I did my part. - Brock remembers it being good. - The Transformers movie? - Yeah. - I liked the Transformers movie.

1:02:21 - No, fucking hey, no, it wasn't good. They fucking kill off some people in the beginning. Somebody says shit, and that's all they did. That was the only-- - But there was a really great song in it, Brad, about having the touch and having the power. Don't you remember that? - They killed Optimus Prime. - I know. - I've got to, I've got to shoot. - Did he die in the movie? - No, he did, he did. 'Cause then it was, it was-- - Wait, wait, wait, wait. - We're gonna stop, we're gonna do Transformers a different time. - Oh God, who was the, who, no. What's Optimus Prime, it was like-- - Brad, does he kill Megatron? - Hey, hey, hey, hey, I only answer to Seaman tonight.

1:02:55 - That's like Seaman. - See person. - No, he's a Seaman. - Seaman. - Seaman. - No, he's a Seaman. - Seaman. - Seaman. - Seaman. - Seaman. - Seaman. (laughing) - I'm a man, I'm a sea man, dad. - Yeah, whatever the fuck your name is. Honda Lou, Honda Lou, sorry, Honda Lou. - Honda Lou. - Mitsubishi Lou. - Yeah. - Honda Lou, I said it. Honda Lou. - I'm saying-- - I'm a gourmet chef. We're gonna make some shit out of these tomatoes.

1:03:27 Let's go. - All right, put those bills aside. - But honestly, that is a really interesting a bit of trivia, 'cause I always wondered why, 'cause I remembered it was the G.I. Joe movie, but it came on television. It was never in the theater. - Yep. - I remember that. - Yep. - I wonder why the transformers fund in support. Okay, wait, sorry, so-- - I don't know, I'm sorry. - So, that's why I disagree with the people. (laughing) They build a person, and all they did was say shit once, and they killed Optimus Prime, so fuck 'em.

1:03:58 Can't kill Optimus Prime. And it was about-- - Okay, so G.I. Joe. - Wait, let's say the transformer, there was some big fucking, it wasn't Megatron, or somebody else ahead of him. - Oh my god, yeah, yeah, yeah, fuck off of me. - Yeah, you can't introduce some whole fucking new person. Fuck you, Leonard Nimoy. - Well, and not only that, but they introduced-- - Stephen, those were fight words. - They introduced a random new Autobot

1:04:29 who wound up becoming the new leader of the Autobots. - Right. - Optimus Prime. - And I mean, he wasn't like a guy you knew, he just was thrown in there, and he was voiced, I think, by-- - But then-- - But then the-- - Exactly. - The fours did a really good job of bringing a lot of female characters, like the lead of one. - Okay, well, the guy said stop. - All right. - You need to stop talking about Transformers. (laughing) You need to get back on G.I. Joe, so-- - All right, Seamus says it holds up. - In your opinion, the first too many series in season one completely holds up to stop there.

1:05:03 Is that what you're saying? - Yes, it completely holds up. Don't fucking go any further than that. Yes, don't-- - That's interesting. - That's what I was thinking. - That's what I was thinking. - Yeah. - I was never a servitor coming out, and I just lost interest. - All right, it's Honolulu's turn. - So, go ahead, Honolulu, what do you think? - I actually was really surprised at how forward thinking G.I. Joe was. I, again, like our podcast benchmark

1:05:34 is the world's greatest athlete. I felt like G.I. Joe did a really good job with like the protagonists, like there were women, there were people of color, there were different nationalities. Like they, I was surprised at how well they represented everybody. - And all the bad guys were late. - And all the bad guys, I pointed at that. I was like, "Look, all the terrorists are white." - I mean, I'm not gonna, I can't like,

1:06:05 seriously, you think that like it was progressive? - I felt like-- - One. - At 83, that there were at least two, if that three strong women, yeah. I'm gonna go with that. - I think they were strong women characters. I don't think Scarlet and Lee J. were strong women. I think they were tokens. Just like Road Black was. No, I-- - Well, okay. I remember watching it with my brother. - In spirit, yeah. Like, you didn't even get how fucking racist that is.

1:06:38 We're gonna call the fucking the Native American spirit. - Oh yeah, in spirit and freedom. But as a young kid watching it with my brother, I liked seeing women like in a cartoon. - All right, that's fair, I get that, okay. - And so looking back on, like, at that point, it was nice, like, it was, we had Shira, we had Tila and He-Man,

1:07:09 we had Chitara and Thundercats, and then one of the twins in Silverhawks, it was just nice seeing-- - Just one of those super friends. - No, fucking no, no, no, no. We're on the twins in Silverhawks. It was nice and-- - Wait, wait, wait, wait. Did you say drop the twins or one-- - I know, I know. Rewind, there was Covergirl, there was-- - I'm still-- - Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Did you say one of the twins or wonder twins?

1:07:41 - One of the twins. - I thought I was thinking she was going wonder twins. - No. - I thought she said one of the-- What's-- who's one of the-- - The twins in Silverhawks? I don't know that one, so, sorry. - It's okay. - They were trusting me, they were there. - So, anyway, it was nice-- - I think the big rapper was just one of the twins. - G.I. Joe had three women, and I just remember like, I made sure to-- - They had four. What are you talking about?

1:08:12 - The Baroness. - The Baroness, yes, I'm sorry. - I mean, she was a key part in the stupidity of Cobra, so I mean-- - No, she was the-- She kept trying to move against, like, she followed order. Yeah, okay, you're right. So, anyway, it was nice seeing women represented, and it wasn't just like the one token in the event. - And like I said earlier, I think we talked about this before we started recording, but there's a great episode where they go like in an alternate reality, and Stiehler is the Baroness' boyfriend?

1:08:45 Brock, do you remember this one? - No, I don't remember this at all. It's 'cause they go, it's shit, it's Flint, Gunhoe, Roadblock, it's like six of 'em go, and they have some device that won't, and they go to an alternate universe, and a clutch and Stiehler are the two other guys, 'cause they end up saying, but the Baroness, the Baroness, it's like fucking Nazi Germany,

1:09:17 so kind of like Trump America, 2020. But, you know, so they, like Cobra Commander has all those signs of everywhere he's holding rallies, just like Trump does, like 'cause yeah. - Oh my God! - Yeah, yeah. (laughing) So, and GI Joe's been like, they thought was debunked, like they thought it, so then they're like, oh, the resistance GI Joe's still there, so these guys show up and they, or fightin' 'em,

1:09:49 and they capture a bunch of 'em, but then the Baroness kind of lets 'em out, 'cause she's in love with... - What do you look like? - Fuck, I'd say Stiehler, yes. So, in that world, but they already found Stiehler's body, who's dead, but Baroness was in love with Stiehler, and she's like, I'm gonna help you get out, and then Stiehler and Clutch are like, fuck that, we're not goin' back to this warm hole, we're gonna stay here and flood Cobra in this land,

1:10:22 and that's what happens, yeah. - Oh, wow. - It's a real heartfelt episode, yeah. - A very special GI Joe. - A very... - So, Kondaloo's dead. - Okay, okay, speaking of... - Kondaloo says it holds up, it does, like, I always remember liking as a kid, and all the things that, like, attracted me to watching this cartoon. They were all still there, and the stories are probably better

1:10:54 than some of the daytime, or not reality shit. - It's not trans when I come, lovers, no, sorry. - Oh, God, he's singing. - He is. I split it. - Yeah, I would say that I would agree that it holds up, and my take on it is, you know, it was hard for me to watch now because, you know, I'm a middle-aged adult, but it brought out a lot of those things

1:11:26 that I had as a kid, and I think as a kid show, you know, putting myself back in through those eyes that, yeah, this is what I remember. This is the sort of stuff I remember, the constant action, the storylines, the funny characters, the awesome vehicles that became toys. - Yes. - I, yeah, and it's, you know, if you watch it, if you were just to sit down now and never see it and watch it, and watch it as an adult, you'd be like, this is lame, and it's cheesy, and why isn't anybody dying, and that kind of thing,

1:11:57 but if you truly watch it as you watch it as a kid, it's still good, it's stuff fun. And for me, getting into it, just, it was more about the other stuff that's going on in my life tonight, right now, and just trying to find the time to carve out to watch it. It wasn't that when I watched it, I hated it. It's just, I just had trouble watching it just because I had so many other things going on, but I thought it was good. And honestly, after talking to you, Brad, I'm gonna start watching it. I'm gonna start watching season one, and I'm just gonna watch it when I'm like, like, background noise, like you did.

1:12:28 - Background noise, it's perfect, it is perfect. - I feel like it would be fun to do it, and I'm gonna stop at the end of season one, and I'm not even gonna look at the movie again, and if I see it's your mentor, I'm gonna throw something through the television. I'm just done. - But I feel like it's got, G.I. Joe has a lot more to deliver than any kind of reality TV show that's going on right now. - If you watch this as a kid, I would say, go back and watch it. - Yeah, for real. - Yeah, if you like it as a kid, go watch it. You're not gonna ruin it if I watch it. - I have a question for you guys.

1:13:00 It's 'cause some of the episodes, depending on how you have it, did you guys get to see the PSAs that were at the end? - No, no, I said you won't have the same wishes. - No, that's not a real PSAs. - The real PSAs, I don't even remember a couple of things. - The real PSAs were crazy. - Are they really? - A couple of them were good. - Did the PSAs not hold? (laughing) - I wouldn't say PSAs, no, because it's all of a sudden it's like

1:13:31 there's some creepy adult hanging out with you. Like one, like scarlet pops out of the fucking water. It's like, you shouldn't go assume another buddy and it's like, the fuck were you doing? Like, and-- - Are you stalking me? (laughing) - The other one is, like, the guy gets a phone call and he's like, hey, you want something? You wanna come, like, I'm gonna come by the house and the kid gives the address. And then roadblocks out in the front yard and he's like, fuck, like, roadblock, you stalking me?

1:14:04 Like, what the fuck, like, it is weird. It is, like, I understand what they're saying. Like, I get the message, but if you actually think about it, the fucking characters are even creepier than the people they're trying to predict themselves from. (laughing) They're like, hey, kids, I've been watching you all a fucking day. You shouldn't be doing that, you know? It is-- - Did TV show hold up? The PSAs don't. - No, the PSAs, like, man, yeah. Going to YouTube, there's a whole, like,

1:14:34 there's, like, a super cut of all the PSAs. And not only they don't hold up, but they're so bizarre, it's one from, like, it's like, hey, don't get fucking picked up and molested by a stranger, too. Like, hey, you should brush your teeth. Like, it's like that-- (laughing) - What the fuck is that? - It is that crazy of a spectrum. It's like, okay, all right. - Are we going to be like Captain America with a hot lunch? Is that-- - And it is, bonzo, it is just, you're like, wow.

1:15:07 Like, last week he told me to brush my teeth. This week he's telling me, a stranger's gonna fuck me in the ass. Like, I don't know. (laughing) - It's like, learn how to clench, boys. - Yeah, yeah. (laughing) - All right, well, hello. (laughing) - On that-- (indistinct) - It's the end of this, go watch the idea. So, all right, do we wanna do our normal social media shit? - Oh, fuck you, if we do that, I gotta figure that out. All right, hold on.

1:15:37 - Yeah, right. - At does hold, is there Twitter? - Yeah. - We're on Facebook, you just look it up, does it hold up? Look for Pinkie Pie, we're still on Patreon, so if anyone listening wants to give a dollar, so Brock can pay for it. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. If Brock needs to pay for his night court addiction, (laughing) yeah, the dollar will go to that straight away and you'll be our most favorite patron on ever.

1:16:10 - I think we mentioned this last time, if anybody has any ideas for us, we're open to ideas. - Right, we have a deal with this. We have a deal with our us. - Just put it out there, put it out there somewhere. - And I don't remember that what that is, but we have one. It's actually, there's a link on the Facebook to email us, or just post it on Facebook. If you're one of the 17 people listening, just put it on Facebook, say, "Hey, listen, you should do this." - Who will? - Well, if we've seen it, we have to have seen it.

1:16:42 Like it's- - Do we have standards? Is that what you're gonna say? - Well, no. (laughing) - If no one's gonna do whatever, but- - That's true. - Yeah, it has to be something we, but maybe we forgot that you saw it, yeah? - All right. - We'll remember that we forgot. - That's right. I was thinking when Harry Met Sally, maybe they'll remember the things that they've heard. Okay, so thank you to all of our listeners. - Thank you. - Thank you, everybody. I'd be enjoyed it. This one was fun to talk about. - It was, thank you for being patient

1:17:13 that we were late getting pulled out, so- - And I listen, knowing's half the battle, and we still don't know what the other fucking half is. So we'll do it. - And never give up. Stay told the fights one. - We're gonna be there. - We're gonna be there. - We're gonna be there. (laughing) We have a real American hero. - And she has a hero, isn't it? - I know, I know. - I know, I know. - Yeah, I'm gonna be. - Yeah, I'm gonna end it 'cause Brad's singing. Bye everybody. - Bye. (laughing)