Sixteen Candles

0:00 [music] They actually said my word. They said my keyword. [music] Is that like an 80s thing, just like... [music] Who is this for fun, Derek? [music] Is he smoking? [music] Oh, it's a pretzel. It's a pretzel snake. [laughter] I'll say that we need to be dropped and be funny. [laughter] Uber conservative, though. [music] Tell 'em where you can see boobies in school.

0:33 Welcome to "Does it Hold Up?" the podcast dedicated to potentially ruining your childhood and all of your fond memories that happened before mom and dad got divorced. Welcome back to our 10 loyal listeners. Thank you for returning. We appreciate it. [laughter] It says 18 on Buzzsprout or whatever our podcast. We have 18 listeners. Sorry. We come forced to happen in the UK, apparently, try this out. Thanks. Thank you. Thank you so much. Tell all your friends in London. We appreciate it.

1:04 I'm Brock. I'm Amanda. And I'm Brad. And we are kicking off a little celebration that we are calling, what are we calling again, Molly Ringwald May? Is that right? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So this is our... Yeah, I know. We are a clever bunch. It's episode number one of Molly Ringwald May, and we have decided to go somewhat chronologically in her filmography, starting off with the 1983, is that right?

1:39 '84, I believe, isn't it? I remember. Okay, we're a crack research team here, so you have all those notes and you... It's '84. It's got to be... It's '84. It's '84. It's coming of age comedy, '16 Candles. And we're so good at counting the months in May that we already missed the first month of May with their past, with their previous episodes. So, yeah. We missed the whole month. What? I mean, the whole first weekend. Sorry, the first weekend. Wait, wait, wait. We're going to catch up. So, you're going to come hot and heavy in May.

2:11 You watch out. Just right here. Your podcast listening device is going to be burning up this week. All right, so Brock is going to give us the couple of days. Yeah. We're going to jump over to the wonderful source of Wikipedia and see what kind of shitty write-up we have here for the plot synopsis of '16 Candles. So, before we do that, though, we all saw this movie as a kid, right? I want to make sure... Yeah, numerous times. Numerous times. Yeah. This is one of my... This is one of my... I think I might have seen "Breakfast Club" more, but this was probably number two as far

2:45 as like John Hughes' move. Well, Ferris Bueller. All right. Top five, for sure. I saw this in the sixth grade, one of my classes at like the end of the year. We got to have like a party and we got to watch them, like we got to rent a movie and everybody had to take home a parental permission slip. Was it the unedited version? Yeah. Wait, wait, wait. You saw Boobies in school? Well, you know, we saw Boobies in... We got to see Romeo and Juliet. That was a big thing in ninth grade here. I remember that song.

3:15 Yeah. This was sixth grade, though. I mean, sixth grade, I was like... It wasn't my gift in class. Yeah, you were special. We were like the regular kids. You were actually... Wait, wait, wait. Did you say "gifted" or "gifting"? You gifted. Gifted. Okay. It's like... It's my "gifting" class. It's where we get together and we learn how to give gifts to one another. Okay. All right. I know Amanda. I know you grew up in Delaware, so I wasn't sure if that was a thing. Right.

3:46 I mean... You could see Boobies in school. Amanda, you were one of the weird gifted people. Yeah. Yeah, like the... Oh, here come the weird smart people and everybody had glasses and buck teeth and... I was... I've seen the Simpson. I was the geek. Yeah. It's not this geek, though. We're gonna explain. You were certainly not this geek in many ways. So you were a sexual predator, okay. All right. Jesus. All right. No. This was interesting to rewatch. I'll say that. Yeah, it was.

4:16 It was definitely interesting. It's different as an adult 30 years later. Yeah. But yeah, we can certainly get into that. I mean, I think we all remember these characters. I mean, Jake Ryan, that's a name that's still... I think if I just said that to random people on the street, they would know who I was referring to. Yeah, they'd be like, "Wait. This is what the guy's from?" Yeah. Isn't it the guy from... Yeah. So I think that's... Yeah. I might hesitate briefly because I had a friend growing up named...

4:51 Remember... I too. Yeah. The Vandal. Yeah. He wasn't a Vandal. No. He was nowhere Vandal than we were. So... Quiet. There's a knockout. Hey, we're not recording this, right? So it's all... Never. Nobody's gonna listen to this. Who cares? Okay, but... We already established. We already have 18 listeners. I think three of them are on this podcast, so we're really down to 15 days. I downloaded every day just to get the listener numbers out.

5:22 But, you know, it's been a saying, Jake, Brian, if somebody said, "Lom.dong." Oh, God. Yes. Yes. That's definitely... Yeah. We didn't have a friend named that. Yeah. Or anywhere close to that. Yeah. I don't know if I was dead. Might kind of be like... Yeah. I never know. I disagree. I didn't know that was... So we just watched it to our, you know, recently... Right. I didn't realize that was his name. I think it was... I think I moved on and opened my eyes to a lot of things. Right.

5:53 Yeah. And I mean, I never knew that was... I never knew that Anthony and Michael's Hall's character actually had a name because he... He's referred to in the credits as the geek. And I am DB. It's the geek. So that's what I always... I mean, that's... I never knew he had a real name. Yeah. He mentioned it so quick that if you're not paying attention, you're not going to notice it. And I noticed it this time because we had subtitles on it. Well, when I was looking at Tribune for the movie, you know, the name is Ted Farmer.

6:24 But when you call Roll, it's usually like, you know, McClellan brought. Which... And so it's... It's never happened when I... I just... But I get it. I get it. Yeah. That's just why he did it. So it's like his name is Ted Farmer, but like Farmer Ted. So that's what everybody calls him. Chess or beta, you know, there were no subs. Yeah. He never had that option. So it wasn't even something he thought about. Yeah. There's a scene in the wedding near the end where Brad and I both mentioned we were watching it that we caught something that the groom says that we were like, "I had no idea. That's what he said. Now it makes sense."

6:55 Because it's a subtitle. Yeah. It's a subtitle. Yeah. But again, maybe we'll touch on that when we get down there. And I think it's... That might be the funniest lie on the whole movie. It is a pretty good lie. It's a pretty good lie. I mean, it's a pretty good lie. And I never caught it until this last time watching it. Yeah. And I misheard it. The way I heard it, it was kind of funny. But then the way it was actually said was funnier. Yeah. I mean, we could just say it, but all right. According to Wikipedia, the year is 1983. And high school sophomores Samantha Sam Baker is hopeful her 16th birthday is the beginning

7:28 of a great new year. And it's shocked when her family forgets because her older vain sister Ginny is getting married the next day. Her frustration is compounded by the fact that her crush, senior Jake Ryan, has no idea how she feels. All right. So we're going to jump in right here. Go for it. Okay. If you have a wedding... Yeah. Like you're going to go wedding. Even if you meet somebody and get engaged the next day and decide that you're going to go down to the Golden Corral and have your reception there.

8:00 Oh, it's like our wedding. Right. I mean, you're still... There's going to be a plan. There's going to be a day. It's going to be a day. Unless you're eloping. And this clearly was not an elopement. There's no way that her family would forget her birthday. No. There's no way. And even if she is... Even if she is... The older sister is a total bitch and wants to steal the thunder of her younger sisters sweet 16 the day before and have her wedding the next day. The parents would still know that's what was going on. Would really like that. It would be a huge... Yes.

8:30 Huge. Yeah. It would... Because she would pitch a fit. I mean, I'm not saying... But most likely not pitch a fit, but she would complain, "Why does Jenny have to get married the day after my sweet 16? It's supposed to be..." I've been thinking about this because she even mentions that in the movie. I've been thinking about this since I was 12. I thought there would be a big party with a band and I'd get a transam and all that right. Right. So she talks about it with her friend. Right. She talks about that with her friend. But then there's no way this would happen. Yeah. But it is a movie we'll suspend. Yeah.

9:01 It's a funny bit of, like I said, the plot contrivance, it's kind of funny. Not realistic. Yeah. But just holy shit. Yeah. Yeah. So then at school Sam reveals... Sam reveals... What? That's a terrible parent. That's a funny thing. Yeah, yeah. A terrible parent. So at school, Sam reveals her feelings about Jake in a quote unquote sex quiz. She tries to give her friend Randy, which unbeknownst to Sam, Jake intercepts. Meanwhile, Jake asked his friend Rock, which I had no idea of the day name.

9:33 What? That's his name? Oh my God. His name is Rock. So that's... The dude... The dude who looks... He looks 35. Yes. He looks 35. He looks old too. But he looks 30... Like he looks like he... Not in a rock. He should be the teacher. Yeah, he should be the teacher. Yeah. Yeah. That's who it should be. Yeah. He's a huge guy. So pull up friend is Rock. Yeah. So I remember that scene as a kid watching that, how I thought...

10:04 I was like, this something seems off, they're doing the pull ups and then they pan out like that. That's a pretty good idea. I think it's still... Yeah. That is a fun thing because I still can't do pull ups. I've never been able to do pull ups. I can't do pull ups now. You watch them do it effortlessly. I felt like an idiot until I saw it that yeah, they're just standing there. And also the background... That makes sense. Kind of funny. Yeah. And the background is great too, the guy who was wrestling, he's like two feet taller than him and he picks the kid up and like, yeah.

10:34 Yeah. The third year senior who's wrestling the freshman kid, yeah. The kid that skipped a couple grades. Yeah. Yeah. The kid who's got a mustache and has had his driver's license for four years, the rest is wrestling the freshman, but yeah, that's a great point. So Jake and asked his friend Rock about Sam having noticed her looking at him in their independent study class. Rock dismisses her as an immature child, but Jake says he is frustrated by his girlfriend Caroline's partying ways. Caroline.

11:05 So... And I can already see on the synopsis here that they don't go into the whole shower scene, should we say? Oh, right. Well, yeah. There was another... Yeah, we get boobies. Yeah, yeah. We get boobies. Soft... Is the term... Are we called... Soft PG or is it a hard PG? I can't... I don't know which is the part of the... It was a hard PG. I think we... It was a hard PG. It was a hard PG. It was a term hard PG. Yeah. Okay. Because this would certainly be PG-13 now. Yes. Yeah. PG-13 didn't exist. There wasn't enough in it for an R.

11:36 Right. And it certainly wasn't... Right. Is anything a G anymore? I mean, even Disney movies have... Oh, I think even like Frozen. It's PG. I mean... Disney animated stuff is still G. Like... Snow White? The Mickey Mouse Club. No. I think like... I'm thinking about like Pixar. I think Wally was PG. It was G. I mean... Yeah. Because I mean... Wally has like 10 words in it. No idea. Yeah. I think there's some stuff. I mean, depending on some of the animated stuff, I think it still is. But... No, but this is...

12:06 Yeah, definitely... You know, we get our theme of boobies, which was nice. I was... Yup. Always like the surprise boob... Actually, I knew this was coming. So I was waiting for... Could you make a... There's no child sacrifice, but... No, no child sacrifice. No quick Sandy there, but... You get... Peric... Sacrifice her soul. I'm forgetting her birthday. You can't... You can't... I know. You can't... You can't... You can't... You can't... You can't... You can't... You can't...

12:36 You can't... You can't... You can't... You can't... You can't hit all the bratisms on every movie. Yeah. I was... There was more. There was Beastmaster 2. Was it portal through time? Portal through time. We could go back and watch yet. We could revisit that. We come to LA. We know it's not good. I don't really need to revisit it. I don't even know if I ever saw it. I've never seen it, so it wouldn't be a revisit for me, but... Yeah. No, but I did find out watching... I mean, not watching it for...

13:06 But do a little research that... That wasn't actually the actresses... Like, they used the body double for that scene. Right. For the shower scene. She didn't want to do it. The actress that plays Caroline did not want to do a nude scene. Right. John Hughes, I guess, the director and sister. He wanted boobs. I guess. I mean, it does... It does portray her as a very mature woman, because she looks like she's in her mid 20s. I swear to God, Caroline, Mom first must have flunked night. Not here.

13:36 Yeah. I still... I still like... I just watched it. She has every shower head on in that damn shower. She's laughing. There weren't a water shortage as bad as ever. Yeah. Time of excess and green. Definitely. Pain and water everywhere. As Gordon Gecko said, right? Greed is good. It's all good. You turn on all those showers. Go for it. So, yeah, so now we've introduced the heartthrob Jake, and we've got Caroline, the amazingly beautiful girlfriend.

14:08 So, on the bus ride home, geeky freshman Ted, who again, that we've already talked about, he's barely called Ted in the movie. He's the geek, who has a crush on Sam, repeatedly flirts with her, only to have Sam reject him. That is a bullshit line. That is... Wait, that is... Yeah, I was going to say that is... That is a bullshit line. I mean, we're going to have... They're missing a couple adjectives on that flirting. Yeah. Progressively pinning her into the seat. That's where this character...

14:38 I mean, as a kid, I pulled for him, and I thought Anthony... I thought it was a good... But now we're watching... This is where I'm starting to have... I always thought Jake Ryan was kind of a douche. I'll get into that a little bit more later. I always thought he was a bit of a... But I never thought Anthony Michael Hall the geek was a... I always thought he was a loser who wins at the end of the day. Oh, right, you're dying. Like... All in every man. Well, you kind of... And watching it this time...

15:08 Holy shit, like he is... He's a... He's just... He's just as bad. It might be... Then Jake Ryan is... He's starting his serial killer ways. He's going to be like a whole predator one day. One day, he's... I mean, he's already full on. By the end of the movie he is. I'm not sure that... Like the Brad things we have to look for.

15:38 Child sacrifice, boobies. It's sexual predator one of them. No, we're not adding that to the list. The rapey themes in this one are insane. Is that like an 80s theme, just rape? I just think it were not... It was considered "normal" me back. Who knows what the hell Bill Cosby was doing at the time. I mean, he and boys, I guess. I feel like every John he is movie... Or not every. Most have this prevailing creep factor.

16:09 We'll have to get into that. Is that going to be a theme we're going to run into? I think it might be. I'm not saying exclusively every single... Creepy was charming in the 80s. No, but I'm saying... No, it could very well be the case. We're going to be like a grown male. All of these teenage dramas. Yeah, that's... I mean, we got into that. Well, I don't know. The aggressive male winning over the woman was a theme that has been in movies since forever.

16:44 Like, I mean, James Bond. I mean, we saw it at Beast Master, right? I mean... Doth throws down... Yeah, or he's basically dry-humptor. Had the ferret stealer close. I feel like every movie is going to have a rapey theme for me. Every movie? I don't know. We'll have to watch Wall-E then. There you go. There's no rapey scenes in Wall-E. Wall-E is all the same. We just watched one.

17:14 There was no rapey theme in the world's greatest athlete. Honestly, that was true. You didn't even know about kissing, yeah? That was a very handsome movie to watch. Yeah, I know. Like, progressive themes and that, like, good... That'll be the end. We'll do 500 episodes of this podcast. And the ending theme will be the world's greatest athlete is the most under-appreciated movie ever. Of all the movies for the 70s and 80s we watched, that's the one that holds up. Thank you, Shane, good night. Michael Benson deserves a Nobel Peace Prize for his work in the head movie.

17:46 All right, so back to Wikipedia. At home, Sam's day gets worse when she discovers she must sleep on the sofa because her parents and foreign exchange student named long duck dong are all staying at the house for the wedding. Her grandparents have also forgotten her birthday and make Sam take dong with her... I'm sorry, that's her group. Her parents... Shit!

18:16 Her grandparents... They've worked with the dong with her. At least I didn't say the donger. All right, here we go. Wait, wait, wait. Her grandparents have also forgotten her birthday and make Sam take dong with her to a dance at school that night. She's just friends. But hey, they did skim over the part. Like, when she's meeting the grandparents and, like, she goes upstairs to her room and the one set of grandparents up there and they're telling her about, "Oh, you know, we got all these ailments and all that." And then she comes down and her other...

18:46 It's grandpa Fred, right, comes out of the bathroom and who calls her, what's he called? Sammy Davis Baker Jr. And then he starts messing with her. I think Grandmother comes out and says, "Fred, stop. You'll make her tinkle." No. That part is great. And then she says the word. She says, "Oh, Fred. She's got her boobies." And then gropes her. Which is, yeah. Which is, thanks for your camera.

19:16 John Hughes has some issues. I don't know. I mean, you could say that that's just grandparents... Not all grandparents, necessarily. Not all grandparents all the time, but they could make you feel uncomfortable. As a teen growing up and being totally unsure about yours. There's a total difference between, "Look, she's growing it to be a woman." And, look at her boobies. They're so perky. I don't think our grandparents ever groped us. "Look, your balls have dropped yet."

19:46 I mean... They didn't? You all were really their favorite, so... We're really not recording this, right? To be fair, my grandparents were wonderful people and never did anything to me. That was bad. We don't need a disclosure that was a joke. I just want anybody to get any... I don't want anybody out there to think like, "What the hell is that?" No, really.

20:16 We all know that was a joke. I have never been felt up by any family member. Good. So, I'm ahead of the game. All right. Gold Star for you, Amanda. I'm ahead of Sam on the curve. Yay! All right. So, at the dance, Sam pines after Jake as he slow dances with Caroline. While it doesn't take long for Dong, we attract a large-breasted jock, Marlene.

20:46 Ted embarrasses Sam by dancing. They refer to her as a... Is she a jock? I guess she is. She's very athletic. She makes the comment about how she can run the 40 and 5 flat or whatever, and then she is lifting weights when she drops them and they go to Jake's. It's also like, what, six feet tall? She's a big girl. She's muscular. She's big. I wonder if she ever did anything after that. We'll have to work. Anyway.

21:16 So Dong has got... Long duck Dong has got Marlene. Ted embarrasses Sam by dancing with her after bragging to his geek friends, Bryce and Cliff, that they are dating. When Sam runs away... Hold on. His name is Cliff? Cliff's name. Cliff's name. I thought he calls one of them wheeze the whole time, doesn't he? Cliff. Are they brothers? They're definitely sleeping. If they're not, they're sleeping over

21:46 because he goes later to their house. They're brothers. When Sam runs away, they're twin brothers because they're in the same grade. Other than the same school, maybe they're like a year apart. They never really go into that. So some Irish twins, huh? Yeah, pretty much. Yeah, exactly. Trust me, babe. I'll pull out. Nice. Let's see. When Sam runs away, the geek's bet Ted a dozen floppy disks. That he can't get physical with Sam. Ted, wait.

22:16 Let me get through this, please. This is the end of the paragraph. Ted accepts. But Bryce and Cliff demand Sam's underpants as proof of his success. Yeah. Okay. Team Ted and Sam dance asks Ted about Sam. All right, go. He is not dancing with her. He's assaulting her again. Okay. He gets up.

22:46 He gets her close and does that whole like he bites at her and like breather on her neck and she's really uncomfortable. Yeah. This is the end of the creeper says. That's why he didn't have a girlfriend when I was a kid. I didn't like. Smell your girls. I didn't. Sorry about that. Oh, speaking of smell. The whole part of the bus scene, like where he sniffs like. Where she was. He secretly sniffs her while he's talking to her and then he sniffs where she was when she leaves. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So once again, I mean, I guess they're trying to establish because later on, he does tell Jake how he's.

23:18 Jake's like, well, tell me about her and he's like, oh, she's got a sweet voice. She smells real nice. So I mean, maybe they're. Yeah. He's like smellish. Yeah. Yeah. But no, so. If you made a movie. Like if you made a movie 15 years after this one, he's in jail or he's a serial. He hasn't been caught. He's like the bad guy. He is. Farmer Ted is in jail or he's got bodies under his house. We're talking about another scene that another thing I didn't

23:50 realize when I used to watch this because I think I watched a slightly edited version. When he's dancing, he goes down to do like a split. Yeah. We'll, I always thought like he, he tours pants or something, but he actually farts. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't know that until watch it. This time either subtitle, which is good. Hey, let's see. Fart jokes aren't creepy. Maybe they could be. If you try hard enough. Creeper Fart jokes. That sounds, that's really creepy. Yeah.

24:20 Yeah. All right. So let's see. Here's, now here's the thing I did. Well, I did notice. Because I watched it. Like we said with subtitles on and never picked up before is they, he says. Farmer Ted says to his buddies when he's doing the bet. He's like, he's like, we're going to interface tonight or something like that. He's like, we're going to get physical. He goes, I guarantee you, I'll bet you 12 doc, 12 floppy disks. I'll get at least tit tonight.

24:50 Yeah. Okay. No, but I'm not even getting to that part. I'm asking if he's going to say that if that's his, that's what he's betting on is just getting tit. Why does he agree to get underpants? That's not what you would do. Yeah, he should get a bra. He should get a more willing department underpants than a bra. With that. Okay. So we're going to go into later. Either way of either way is weird. Like, but. Yes, but going.

25:21 Well, so the theme here is that if you make out with a guy somewhere at a dance, you're going to give him a piece of clothing as a trophy. No, it's proof. Is that how it works? I mean, I can't tell you may panties. I just buy my panties. I've never asked anyone for that. That is really strange to me. Like, you know, Hey, Brock, we're, you know, we're kissing.

25:52 We're making out and then you're like, Hey, can I have your underwear? You don't want my underwear. That's what I would say. Well, why would you ask me for my underwear because we were kissing. I mean, I've given away tons of boxers to ladies, but I've never. What I was going to say is that like, it would make more sense, like, give us her bra, but I think almost would. I'm going to direct this towards you, Amanda, being the female. Would you be more comfortable at a dance walking around without underwear as opposed to not having a bra? Probably like the bra would be more obvious, especially if you're a bigger girl.

26:24 Or if you're develop your likes. So, very established, she has small tits. I mean, it said that twice in the movie. She's wearing a sweater over a t-shirt. She can have sensitive nipples. Yeah, but I mean, not only, not only, like, it's been established multiple times. She said it. She said it in the very beginning to herself in the mirror. If you remember the very beginning of the movie. Farmer Ted says it. And her grandfather says it too. When she right before she gets felled up by her grandmother, he says, let me go get my magnet on glass. So it is a running thing that she has small breasts.

26:56 So, this is not like, they've established the, like, so if you're going on the basis that it wouldn't, which would be, she's wearing a wrap, not short, but a shorter dress. It's not like a, it's layered on. Yeah. I feel like, I mean, all he needs is to prove that he got tit as he says to his, his buddies. I feel like the bra was the nicer of the ass there. And not me. I mean, if we're going to really get into it, like, if she was having her period, like,

27:31 yeah, sure. All right. Yeah. It's all sorts of, like, unknown. Yeah. And to be honest, she probably should be because her sister is. And I heard that when women live together, don't they all get on the same cycle? So, yeah, that's true. So this, this is where the movie gets off the rails for me. Like, this is bullshit. She should be on her. Yeah. I already get that. I'm dying. Hold up. Hold up. The sisters don't have the period the same time. So just give your friends their damn floppy disks.

28:02 And I don't know, Brock, if you know, the floppy disks are kind of expensive. And it were. Yeah, I do. I remember. I do remember. The takeaway here is that you don't ask a girl or a woman for an article of clothing for proof that you got anyway. And you don't ask anyone for any article. Yeah. Yeah. What was that Brad? Sorry. You don't ask anyone for any article of underclock. Like, yeah, you just. That is bizarre.

28:32 That's a risk. I think we call that red flag. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That is. Yes. That is where you. You know, Barbara Ted also has a collection of underpants in his closet. And the bad thing is, is that this is going to be. Yeah. He's just going to start with that. Yeah. I mean, didn't. One of the, one of the banes here, didn't he start with shoes? He started stealing shoes or.

29:03 Not Kemper. Brutus. Yeah. Yeah. So, I mean, yeah. After he found a pair of high heels. If you catch your child with the opposite sex is undergarment. Don't burn them. Yeah. Don't burn them. Well, okay. The opposite sex. If they're wearing them, that's fine. If they're stealing them or taking them. But don't burn them because you're, you're raising a serial killer at that point. There's a switch. So. All right. So Ted finds Sam in the auto shop where she opens up to him about her family for getting her birthday and her feelings for Jake.

29:35 Tell, tell them Ted tells her Jake asked her about her and Sam. Yeah. Right. He's my boy. And Sam excitedly asks if she should talk to Jake or wait for him to come to her. Ted, despite his feelings for Sam, which is arguable, encourages her to approach Jake. Before she leaves, Ted tells her about his bed and asked to borrow her panties. Later in the boys' bathroom, Bryce, Cliff and Ted charged the other geeks $1 to see Sam's underwear.

30:08 There's so many problems here. They like totally glossed over the fact that he tries to mount her. Well, there is in a dollar. In my opinion, a dollar is way too much money to see. That's not for these kids. And they made like what's. What's your, what's your, what's your pain? What did you use to pay back in the day? Twenty five cents. But, I mean, twenty five cents more than high school. I don't know. Yeah. Who's, who's underwear were you seeing for twenty five cents? That's what I want to know. My own. Going back.

30:40 You're seeing. I don't want to talk about it. I'm happy flashback right now. I really don't want to talk about it. Yeah. So, yeah. So like big gloss over that he like tries to mount her. Twice. And again, something I didn't get is that she mentions basically that she can tell he's. Excited in some way because of her leg. He has an erection. Yeah. Never notice that the first time watching the first, but he, but he doesn't. He has a role of search in his pocket.

31:11 Remember he pulls him out. That's right. Hey, he pulls him out. He says I'm fresh breath is very important to me. Oh, right. Okay. Okay. So he doesn't really have an erection. I mean, he doesn't want to talk about that. Correlation. Good word. But yeah, he does. He tries to mount her and I mean, he comes across as being. Like he, he finally, in some times he'll drop his like. I'm awesome persona. And he talks about for a while how he's never bad to babe.

31:42 But there's a rumor that he has. So he feels like he has to act this way. It doesn't. It's great. He says, yeah. Yeah. It helps you understand why he is the way he is, but it doesn't necessarily excuse. He's got a rep for bagging a babe in sixth grade. He said he did. He says a lot of things. But he said he did. Amanda, he said he did. I just agree. Hey, hey. Farmer Ted might be a lot of things, but he's not a fucking liar. Everything he says in this movie is true. I will defend farmer Ted to my dying day.

32:13 He's not a liar. He might be a sex reporter and there might be five dead hookers in his basement by 10 years from this showing. But he does not fucking lie about it. Where they were, who they were and how he killed him. Yes. When the cops show up at his doorstep, he says, they're in the basement, boys. What took you to law? It's like what took you so long. Because farmer Ted doesn't fucking tell a lie. Okay.

32:43 So you go ahead. I don't want to imply the wrong Jew. Perkowitz. Perkowitz. Perkowitz. Perkowitz. So it's on the same who said what took you so long. It was him. Yeah. Yeah. He didn't even. Was him. I was thinking it was. The guy who all the clown guy. What was his name? Oh. Oh shit. My dad.

33:16 Who's the clown? Yeah. He was wrinkles or winkles or something. I don't know. Oh God. Why can't I remember his name? Please look his name up. I'm doing it. I'm doing it. You keep reading it. Okay. Okay. So at Jake's house. Gates. Party at Jake's house, which again is kind of school. Here we go. Okay. John Wayne. Alright, so back to 16 candles, which is nothing like John Wayne Gacy. That's what Ted's going to grow up to. Right. Oh, maybe is this the origin story for John Wayne Gacy?

33:47 There you go. That was to two. I don't reckon. All right. So, you know, he would have to be like. He'd have to be like Dom or somebody, right? So in the candles cinematic universe. Right. In the in the SCU. I don't know. Yeah, no. It's too season. In the cinematic universe. That's CCU. Yeah.

34:17 CCU. Sounds like a university. All right. We're Ted guys. We're Ted. Two guys online degree for VCR repair. Yeah. Serial killing. Get a minor in that. So at Jake's house, Caroline and her friends have started a wide party. Jake, angry with Caroline, retreats to his bedroom and tries calling Sam, but her grandparents yell at him for waking them up and tell him Sam isn't interested. After the party ends, Jake is furious at the damage.

34:47 Can we wait? Can we address? Okay. Now. The part where he calls her house. Yeah. Where does he get her number? Because they establish in the very beginning of the movie. The dad says as they're all trying to leave her work in school that day, that she's late. She's got her own phone line. I had to have my own phone line when I was her age. How does maybe there's a delete. It's like there's no way he. I mean, unless it was in the phone.

35:18 Well, he's looking in the yearbook. And then he just. Maybe maybe we missed the seat. Like he looks up. Ah, yes. I do remember the yellow pages. Yeah. And the, the, that's right. And the corresponding white pages. Yes. Maybe. Yeah. White. Maybe that's how it happened. Yeah. I mean, cause if you, if you just watched the movie, it looks like he gets it out of the yearbook, which obviously does. No. Yeah.

35:48 Do you think a second number would be? I can't remember. I'm trying to remember any friend that had it growing up that had a second line. I mean, it could be, but at the same time I knew a lot of numbers, but you could ask them to not be listed. I think by default, they would be listed, but you could ask like, this is my kid's private number. Let's not list it. But I don't think it's out of the realm of possibility. Right. But it wouldn't be listed under her name, right? He would have like, I'm saying, like, if a friend had it, let's, we're going back to your friend. Or to just be like.

36:18 It would just be, it would just be the second number under. His name. Or whoever's on the bill. I'm assuming back then it was probably. But yeah, it would just be the dad. It would just be the so. I mean, all the second number, because if I saw that, I'd be like, that's her dad's office number. So he'd have to look up. He'd have to look up her last name in the yearbook. Then go to white paint is Baker. I'm sure. I'm sure in Chicago where they live, there's only a few bakers. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe he called the regular line, but because the parents are a dinner at this point, right?

36:51 Yeah. Yeah. We haven't got what we mentioned that yet. If you got the right house and I don't know if the synopsis even goes into the in law thing, but we'll get to that. If he calls the right house and calls the baby. Yeah. But they don't, they don't, they don't establish that. He just, I remember as a kid thinking that the grandparents were kind of dicks to him, but then I realized. Yeah, because the closed caption was on very first time he calls, right as the grandmother picks up, he says, eat me into the phone and hangs it up, which doesn't make any sense.

37:25 I, is he saying it to telephone? Yeah. Well, you're calling a girl that you're really interested. You're going to say eat me and hang up. Let's see, Brad. He's a cool guy. We weren't a cool guy. Maybe that's what the cool guy said. Yeah, I would have been like, whatever, but I was an cool guy. I would have been. No, the third phone call would have been like, we can hear you breathing. What are you going to do? And then it would have been click. I would have hung up. Yeah. Yeah. It would have been like once and then that would have been it.

37:57 I wouldn't call back. But I don't do phones. You wouldn't call at all. You would have taken me. I don't, I only call in middle school. They're in high school in this, even though Jake Ryan's 24, but they're in high school. I remember one time I did, I did call. I did call someone in elementary school had a crush on and I actually talked to her for a little bit and they didn't know who I was. And then the next, it wasn't the next day at school, but like the next week or whatever. I had class with her twin sister and they figured out it was me that called and the twin sister

38:29 laughed her head off. And I was like, fuck you, you bitch. I am so sorry to hear that. I had no idea that kid that must have been awful. Oh, yeah. Oh, it's still hard today. Really. Because they were like the first sheet. That's real sick. Yeah. Yeah. She, I mean, she, she didn't know who I was. So she talked me for a bit. And then, and then she was like, okay, well, and I said, well, you know, we have a class and all that.

39:04 And then I had a class with her twin sister. And her twin sister realized that to what I was the one who called and she started laughing her head off. Yeah. So anyway, let's move back to a more happier time. Sixteen. We don't have to go into names here, but were you friends with those twins for a while? Like, do I know those twins as the only twins? Yeah. No. Because I know I said a twins that you knew in delight. Oh, no. It's okay. I'm not judging. I just didn't know if maybe those were the twins. I don't know that you don't know these.

39:35 Okay. So Jacob's was there like, uh, I don't, I'm not, I'm not going to. Yeah. All right. So, um, it was that. It was at Westmore Brook. They went to Millbrook. I never saw them again. So, okay. That was one of the nice things about our middle school is just about everybody went to a different high school. Yeah, but it wasn't good. To be honest, it wasn't good. The first year, but after that, you're like, yeah, you're like, oh, it was kind of nice to like reset. We're starting here. So, yeah. Yeah. So, all right. So, Jake is furious at the damage left behind by the party.

40:05 He finds Ted hiding under a glass coffee table after he has angered some jocks by not. All right. He is trapped under that. Coffee that is a coffee table. I agree. Who has a coffee table like that? I don't know why it was so heavy. Right. Yeah. Here's the thing. Okay, let's let's play out what actually had to happen there. Right. Because when the he's sitting down at the couch, he pulls up two beer bottles and finally sees the eyeball.

40:36 And then he clears the whole thing off. So what had to happen because earlier than I, he, I assume it was the big guys that did it to him. Right. Right. Earlier than I, he knocks over their beer tower. I assume they had, they had to clear that table off. Pick him, put him under it, pick the table up, put him under it, and then put all that shit back on the table like it looked like people just put. Or people just kept putting it on the rest of the night and ignored the geek under the key. You think they just let him be under there for that long? And he was just, I don't know.

41:07 Yeah, it's kind of ridiculous. And it was the table so heavy, he couldn't lift it, which it kind of implied. Yeah, but that's a really heavy table. Right. And just, that let's just, let's just, can we talk about the party for a minute, how. Yeah, sure, please, the party was insane. Yeah. Fucking crazy. Like they pull in, like it shows the party starting, like the house is rolled or TP or whatever people call it, but we called it rolled down here, North Carolina with toilet paper on it. Like I don't, I don't remember ever going to call or high school or college party where I brought my, brought extra toilet paper and then rolled the house as I was walking in.

41:43 But apparently that's what these people did in Chicago. For the paper out of the house, out of Jake's house and rolled the tree. Do you remember those times when toilet paper was readily available and could be used. That's where we're arbitrating. Right. We're living in COVID-19 quarantine right now. Yeah, it's really. Let's grab our mom's jewelry and throw that in a tree. Yeah, basically what they did was they increased the value of Jake's house by a couple thousand dollars by putting toilet paper in the tree. We really are.

42:14 Yeah, look at these rich fucking assholes who could just hang toilet paper for the trees. That's us are rashing it off like it's, you know, it's exactly bullion. One square for bowel movement and they're over there just throwing it in the tree. The trees look like I got nothing to lose. They got a bunch of fucking bidets probably. They don't even need toilet paper. They probably do. They're probably French. All right. We love our French viewers or listeners.

42:46 I mean, they do. Yeah, please, France. I love you. Thank you for wine, which I'm. It's Italian that I'm drinking, but it's close enough. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Where Americans were ignorant. We don't know geography. Moving on. Yeah. Yeah, back to the party. There's the scene where the weights from long dogs girlfriend fall through the floor. Through the roof, through the floor and into the wine cell.

43:16 How many lines are buying? Yeah, I know. Such a such a. You were bad. Yeah, that was horrible. And you were really hung up on the bubbles coming out of the air vent. And what the hell? How does that happen? There's an air vent on the side of the wall. And there's just like bubbles pop like fuzz. I mean, like fizz coming out. I mean, wow. It's a good bubble bath into the air vent. How are you here? He was really wanting to make sure that you got the feeling that this was a wild party.

43:49 And I think Brock, you mentioned before that there's pizza everywhere. Half eaten boxes everywhere. And of course, there's the iconic scene of the pizza on the turntable. Right. And the music which you know, that's just enough. Yeah, there's boxes like in every cabinet on every account. Yeah, a little later when Jake and the geek are talking, he's making the martinis. They're listening to Frank Sinatra. There's like pizzas hanging out of each level of the cabinet in the kitchen.

44:19 Yeah. I mean, I mean, I was supposed to see that this was a wild party and that Jake is rich. But my God, he's going to have to have contractors in there before his parents get home. I hope they're gone for like two weeks yet. Maybe his parents are the kind of parents. Yeah, if they're rich, they're in Europe for a month, you know, like. It's going to have to be. Is this going to take a house for it? I mean, I get your parents. I'm sorry. Wait, wait, wait, Amanda. He drives. He drives a Ferrari. He gives his.

44:50 He gives. He gives. He gives. He gives him the Rolls Royce. Yeah. He's got a fucking American Express black car to some shit like that. And the parents never. Yeah. I'm not. He's he's confining. It's the fixing of the house. I'm not worried about that. The timeframe. Maybe not. But he ain't doing shit. I mean, although. You cut to the house. The next day. And I mean, Samantha and him are not sitting in a bunch of shit.

45:21 I mean, right. The diagram's completely clean. The table is sitting. Surprisingly clean. Yes. Maybe they're on the team. Maybe they're on the table. Because there's shit all over the floor. Anyway. So, um, yeah. Hey, there might be. Got it. Thought it was something I was going to mention. Not completely forgot about it. We have to. They don't mention they haven't mentioned or does it mention soon here? The fucking great scene.

45:51 Of the in-laws meeting one other. I don't think so. The in-laws are mentioned here. The in-laws are mentioned. I mean, this is a Wikipedia synopsis. We're only going to hide. We can go. Okay. That scene. So it's, it's. It's Sam's parents. with her older sister, Jenny, meeting Carl's his name, right? The fiancee? - No, Carl's, he's a janitor. - No, Carl's a janitor. - No, Carl's a janitor. - Yeah, Rudy is his name, or yeah, Rudy's his name in this one, yeah. - He's a bow monk.

46:22 - He's a bow monk. - Which I didn't know it was for. - Yeah. - And it's his parents, and the dads are talking, and the Godfather theme is playing the love theme or whatever is playing in the background. - He's playing the music. - Yes. - And that's, yeah, the music is great. We didn't mention earlier during the dance how they play the Spy Hunter, or Peter Gunn theme, but it's from Spy Hunter, the arcade game at the time. Like, they play that when the geeks are being shown, like they're scanning across the geeks at the dance,

46:53 but yeah, love this line, I had to write down because it's so great. And he explains how he's into video game machines, laundries, cigarette machines, and trucking. And then he says, and this is the best part, and he says, and I dabble in personal loans and politics. - Yeah, yeah. - So he's in the mums. - He's in the mums. - Yeah, he's in the mums. And the moms look, Sam's mom's look on the earner face is just like, what the fuck are we getting? Like, she's like-- - And the dead eye rolls,

47:25 I mean, the dead eye rolls at the end, yeah. - He eye rolls when they're doing the shots, right? They're right there. - Right there, right there. - Well, but Sam's mom, like, fucking, I'm drinking. This is crazy. Like, but, you know, their daughter's getting married. Hey, what's he say to them? Well, they're gonna do the shots. And he's like, do you do shots? And then he says-- - I think the shots, yeah. And he's like, woof it. - Woof it. - Woof it. That's it, woof it. (laughing) - I mean, like, the daughter's getting married. She's date of this guy for six whole months. - Six whole months. - Six whole months. I've never had a guy, love me for six whole months.

47:55 - In a row? - In a row, that's right. - In a row, yeah, yeah. - Don't even know what that means, yeah. - I don't know how these two people are sisters, to be honest. Jenny and Sam are so completely different. - Oh, we haven't even talked about the little brother. Mike is-- - We're gonna have to get into Mike. We'll have to chat briefly about Mike. Mike is not listed on Wikipedia. Wikipedia has a fruit over Mike. Possibly the best minor character in the entire movie. But anyway, I remember the thing I wanted to mention is,

48:26 with all the pizza everywhere, it's like a mid 30s guy's idea of a crazy high school party. - Yep. - Like, there'd have to be pizza everywhere. - Yeah, they would order 20 pizzas and then only had like two slices of every box. 'Cause it's like crazy. And there'd be like foam coming out of the air conditioning thing. Yeah, crazy. - No, wait, wait, hold on. Brock, one caveat to your correct, but it'd be a mid 30s guys. What he thinks a crazy high school party is, for a mid 30 guy who never went to a crazy high school party.

48:58 - True. - He never went. 'Cause I never went to one and I can totally buy into that. - He was totally stuck in the party. - I think you went to, I mean. - I went to your party, but that doesn't look crazy, though. I mean, yeah, well, you were in a mid 30s. Yeah, you figured it out, but-- - Oh, the mid 30s, that's true. I was not-- - Yeah. - Thank God. So, all right, so let's see. Oh, yeah, now it starts to get interesting. So Ted gives Jake Sam's underwear

49:29 and tells him Sam is interested in him. Jake says it's tired of his relationship with Caroline and offers to let Ted drive a drunken Caroline home in his father's Rolls Royce. That is a gross oversimplification of that. - He says, Jake first says, I've got Caroline passed out upstairs. I could violate her 10 ways and she wouldn't know a thing. - Yeah. - And then he's, and Farmer Ted is like--

49:59 - Why are you still-- - Why aren't you doing that? And then he's like, she's hot and all, but I'm kind of bored with her. It's what he basically, Jake says. - Yeah, it's-- - Which is why I never liked Jake, the character from the get, when I was a kid. I was still he was a douche. - Yeah. - He's trying to figure out what's going on from his relationship with her. And he's like, I have Caroline passed out in the bed upstairs. I could violate her 10 different ways if I wanted to. And then, then, you know, Farmer Ted's like, why aren't you doing that? Why are you down here when you could be raping her?

50:31 - Which, yeah. - Right. - Ew. - Yeah, she's too drunk to do it. - Yeah, this is where the movie turns as a 40 year old man. This is where, yeah, this is where kid's bad. As a kid watching it and I was like, I didn't really notice this part. - Yeah, this is where it gets-- - He puts Caroline in the Rolls Royce, gives Ted a six pack of beer, and is like, just don't leave her a parking lot somewhere.

51:03 - Right. - And you got me, 'cause I was very much like, he's just saying take her home, but he's implying she's your-- - Do you ever want to just get her home? - Yeah. - He came and goes so far to try and convince her that he and Ted are the same person, or look at the name slick. - Which is kind of funny if you look at it from a-- - Yeah, I think that's a funny line just by itself. But yeah. - But you can convince her that she's safe and then send her off with this 15 year old and a six pack of beer. - Yeah.

51:34 I mean, it's funny if you look at it just like, she's so drunk that she can be convinced that this nerdy freshman-- - It's her boyfriend, Jake Ryan. - Yeah. - But the ugly side of it is, if she wants to have sex with Jake, she'll just think that's Jake and he can have sex with him. - Yeah. - It's disgusting. - That's pretty good. - Yeah. This is where it goes off the rail. Yeah. It really goes off the rail. - Farmer Ted was already had problems with leading up to this. He was already-- - It's talking about that and it just goes off the cliff. - This is where it jumps to the shark, so to speak.

52:04 So the next morning, Sam's mother apologizes to Sam for forgetting her birthday. And everyone heads to the church for the wedding. Jake arrives at Sam's house where a hungover dong and this communicates that Sam is at the church getting married. - Can I just a hungover dong? - I know. I actually said it without laughing. - The phrasing is awesome. - Yeah. - 'Cause it's like-- - He wants it hungover. - Get it? - Dong. - Dong. - Dong. - Yeah. - Jake finds Caroline and Ted--

52:37 I'm sorry, in the church parking lot, Jake finds Caroline and Ted making out in the back of his dad's banged up roles. - And has the nerve to roll his eyes? Like, what are you doing, man? What did you think he was gonna do? - And before that, they actually talk about it. - I don't think so. Nobody remembers it. - Well, Amanda, I don't think he's upset at how, I think he's upset at the Rolls Royce what it looks like. - Oh, all right. - I don't think he's upset. I don't think he's upset at it 'cause they show the Rolls Royce like it's all banged up 'cause they, 'cause remember when he breaks the fourth wall?

53:11 - Yeah, because he can't draw? - Yeah. - I think that's, he's more like holy shit. Like they're here, the car's fucked up. - If that's true, it again shows how shallow Jake is. - Yeah, he's not worried about-- - He's not worried about his former girlfriend possibly being sexually assaulted. He's like, "Oh crap, my dad's car's broke." - But after what happened to the house, why would he give a shit? - He can fix that too. Money will fix everything. - Yeah, maybe he's not, I don't know. Yeah, it's a weird, that's a weird, like,

53:43 'cause then they have the weirdest breakup. - They just break up. - They break up, but she's like, "I'll be okay." And he's like, "Okay." - Yeah, well, like I said, given that they're in their mid 20s, it's a very mature breakup. - I guess. - All right, so, Jake and Carolina agree to break up, but remain friends. Jake then drives to the church, just in time to meet an incredulous Sam after her sister's wedding. Now, there's one more paragraph, we'll finish and then we can go into all the other shit.

54:13 - Okay. - Jake's house, Jake gives Sam her underwear and a birthday cake with 16 candles on it. He tells her to make a wish, but she says her wish already came true. The two kiss is the film Fades to Black. - My God. - In any way. - Wait, what? - Right? - Yeah. - Isn't that like the after credit scene, like a Marvel movie? - Yeah. - She's saying we're crying, like Shaddy rape me. - I mean, it's terrible. That's like a prevailing theme in this.

54:45 - I would hope she took that cake and shoved it in his face and beat the shit out of him. No, no, they skip over, like, they skip your synopsis there. I know it's not yours, but they skip over the whole bit with the whole bit with the, so we'll call it the C plot with the wedding, right? No, no, the wedding. - Oh, yeah.

55:15 - 'Cause we're gonna, this lies, this ties into Mike, who I think might be the best character in the film, now that I think about it. In the very beginning, they're getting ready for school and everything and Ginny comes in and she gets in the bathroom before the dad does. And she says something to the dad and then Mike comes around the corner who's the little brother, it says to the dad, he's like, she's on her period. And then he's like, what? And he goes, and then he says something like, that's gonna make for a real interesting honeymoon,

55:45 isn't it, dad? And he's like, where do you learn this stuff? And he's like, from school, and then the dad says, oh, I'm glad I'm getting my money's worth, or something like that. And so the period theme for the wedding is a, 'cause then you cut to the wedding and she's taking four muscle workers? Four muscle workers? Yeah, four muscle workers. And so she's essentially inebriated. And she falls down at one point and the dad comes rushing in, the back room, right before she was walking down the aisle.

56:16 And that's when he yells, he's like, I don't care if everybody, she's on her period. And what the hell is wrong with her or something like that? And this is when the best line happens. It's the groom, Rudy. He's sitting there, and he turns to the father, the priest, and he goes, I bet, wow, crap, I wanna get it right. Hold on, I think I wrote it down. Let me just look real quick, 'cause I wanna make sure I get it right, 'cause it's-- Yeah, it's a good line, but it's easy to miss. Right. I guess all those people, right?

56:46 Yeah, I guess those people who thought we had to get married are feeling pretty stupid right now. Humph Padre is what he says. Yeah, yeah. Which, again, it's an easy line to miss. I always thought that he said, I guess those people who are getting married feel pretty stupid, meaning, you know, ha ha, I'm getting married, so is she. She's having problems. I bet we feel pretty dumb. I didn't even get the whole, she's not pregnant. Park is the six months that they had to shotgun wedding,

57:17 had to get ready, yeah. I never got there either. What's that? Totally missed that. Thank you, whoever made the subtitles. Yeah. Yeah. You're a hero. Thank you for your service. I'm trying to think of the other-- Mike has another. He has the little brother who went-- Sofa City, sweetheart. Sofa City, sweetheart. When they first introduced long duck dong, she was like, wait, if he's sleeping in your room, where am I sleeping? He's like, Sofa City, sweetheart. What are you bitching about? I have to sleep underneath a kid named after a duck's dong

57:49 or something like that. Something like that, yeah. Yeah, he has a lot of fun. He's sitting there, he's sitting there, watching TV in the kitchen, smoking the pretzel sticks, like when you saw this. I remember doing. Totally act. Much unlike the party, that is right here. But yeah, the whole long duck dong, like, it's funny. They play the gong noise every time they mention his name. He's stereotypical. What did we figure out? He's an American actor who imitated his--

58:19 Yeah, he was born in Utah. Right. They have him play a Chinese exchange student. He doesn't have an accent. So he imitated his South Korean cousins accent. But he yells bonsai at one point, which is a Japanese word. So he's in Gung Ho, replays a Japanese businessman. So he's all-- I guess the '80s, it's how bad it was.

58:50 Like, it was like you're of Asian descent. But we did discuss that he wasn't a white guy, like Mickey Rooney and-- In Brexit. In Chinese. In Chinese playing an Asian man. Oh, true. [INAUDIBLE] Oh, my God. That's brutal. I mean, that is-- yeah, I mean, yes. That's true. I mean, we're going to put that out. Stepping up the way-- yeah, but ugh. No. That's-- That was 16 candles.

59:20 It does not hold up. It's really ravy. If you take out the main storyline, it just-- The Sam storyline is sweet, even if Jake is a douche. Right. Because you do a touch. He's still a douche. But you can be attracted to somebody. Think they're perfect. Get to know them and realize, wow, I made a mistake. Which is kind of what I think Sam might do. The Farmer Ted storyline? Needs to go away. Doesn't hold up in any capacity whatsoever.

59:50 He's creepy and bad and-- John Wayne Gacy. And yes, he will one day be a sexual predator. No, he is a sexual predator. I don't know if what dress up is a clown, though. He will one day be a serial killer. Serial sexual predator? Yes. OK. Fair enough. What is that? Bodies of the basement, underwear, nailed to the wall. He's right now in his mid-40s, and he still has those on that pair of underwear. He got it back from Jake. He probably went to her house in Stolovet. He smells it daily. Yes. Yeah, I agree. So yeah, this does not hold up.

1:00:20 He's in his late-40s. Don't remind me how old I am, Brad. Shut up. No, actually, he'd be 50, but if he's 14 and 83, then he would be 50-51 right now. You're so good at math. I'm the human calculator to steal from another podcast that I do not want to mention, because they're really good. And I do not want to bring them down in any way.

1:00:53 OK. Let's not ask by bringing them down to our level. Yeah, but we're not-- yeah. We're not there yet. Those professionals, we're just doing this for fun, yeah. I'm worried as to how well Molly Ringwald may is going to go. I'm not confident. I'm not confident. This one, yeah, to-- Might be the worst one. I don't know. What are we going to do? We're not nits. Oh, my mistake.

1:01:23 Secret. OK. Most of you out there, if you're listening, hello, 12 people, will know the next two that we're doing. If you know the fourth, I'm sorry. It's going to be fun, though. I mean, so are we all in agreement that this doesn't hold up? No, not at all. I feel like the Sam storyline is sweet, even if Jake's douche. And it kind of holds up overall it doesn't, because Ted is too important of a character.

1:01:54 And his storyline is just-- it's awful. It's hellacious. It's bad. It is a rape. If he could, he'd be a rape. Yeah. I mean, I'm saying, would you show this to your kids now? And be like, this is funny. It might fit. I mean, I wouldn't show it to my nine-year-old kid, but I'd show it to my teenagers. And see, I'd be curious if they're a reaction, because I'd be willing to vet. They'd be like, what? What the hell did he do, dad? No, I guarantee you, the middle kid

1:02:25 would be like, that's a rapist. Yeah. And the big one, yeah. Yeah, I wonder if they would pick up on it, like we didn't pick up on it. But I would feel bad. My problem is, I don't know if I'd want to show it to them, just because I know it's bad. So now I'm like, eh, let's move on. Like, there's other ones we can do. Like, this isn't one-- Yeah. I mean-- If I had a choice between numerous 80s coming of age movies, it wouldn't be this one. No. I can think of numerous other ones I would play before this one.

1:02:57 I mean, I still laughed at some of it. I mean, I still-- It's a funny movie. It has its own-- Yeah, it's-- I just have a problem with Anthony Michael Hall's character. Like I said, in the beginning, I never liked Jake Ryan. I always thought he was a douche from the get go, from watching the movie from the first. But Anthony Michael Hall was always kind of like, to say lack of-- he was the hero with it, right? Yeah, yeah. He got the pretty girl at the end. At the par? He got the-- yeah.

1:03:28 And-- He got the prom queen. He had a picture of evidence that he was there. Oh, we did skip over that part with it. Yeah. That was a good thing. That's the wonderful-- see, gets a great word. What does it mean? Has many meanings. Lord. Sorry. I'm channeling my 80s. Yeah. As an 80s movie, this was considered sweet and wonderful and great. And I watched it in sixth grade. And you watched it in school.

1:03:59 And there were boobies and no quicksand. But overall-- Quicksand's not-- wait a little. I want to go on the record real quick. Wait, hold on. I got to stop recording. Oh, we're still recording. Boobies, other thing. Child sacrifice is another-- it's an 80s trope fun. So is quicksand. But I don't need-- you're making me have to be some sort of quicksand porn guy, which I am not. Which is a thing, which is scariest fuck.

1:04:29 Google it, but it's a thing. I am not that. I'm all about the boobies. That's all I'm going to say. So dear listeners, Google quicksand porn. And with that, we're done. Should we tell us our social media or-- We're ready to wrap it up there. You guys do the social media thing. Wait, we don't have any-- nobody else that you're good. We don't know what to say about this, or-- Hi, Spade. Yeah. Isn't that a thing, Friendster? I'm not a Friendster either. We're not a Friendster yet.

1:05:00 We're still waiting. We're waiting for-- what was the guy Tom on MySpace to-- Yeah, he's not a Friend yet. He's not a Friend yet, so we don't have that. Yeah. Now we're on Facebook, and just kept a search for does it hold up, and-- [INAUDIBLE] Hi. Yep. Look for Pinkie Pie. And Twitter is @holddoes, and is there Twitter? Why is Twitter a handle? Because it kind of picks one for you, and--

1:05:32 Oh, no, it's OK. I just didn't know if there was a reason. Does it hold up was taken or-- Probably. It kind of decides-- I don't Twitter, so-- We don't Twitter. I don't Twitter. I'm not a twat. I beg to differ, but-- All right. So we are not on fucking Instagram. Fuck Instagram. What about TikTok? Can we on TikTok? No, we're not on TikTok. You want to do some TikTok videos? If you want, go ahead. No, we're-- but we have--

1:06:03 you can email us from our Facebook page. There's a click-- or if you have a suggestion, I guess you could post it on there. And positive feedback. Negative feedback will be deleted. Yeah, I mean, if you're listening to us on Apple Podcast, I mean, we hear it helps if you guys give us a five-star review and review us. Don't be the asshole. Don't be the asshole that gave us the one-star review and didn't say anything. Do something else. Yeah, do something else. Just don't. No, actually, if you want to give us a one-star review,

1:06:35 that's fair. No, wait. I'm going to say, if you want to give us a one-star review-- OK. Just tell us why. That's all I asked. That's fair. Yeah, I want to comment. Yeah. Don't be a fucking pussy. Say something. You're too American. Give something. Yeah. I'm a French, you know, I do not like in front of us, you know, whatever, you know. You're telling it. I am offended, yeah. Yeah. Accent of that. I don't know what that was. That was-- Yeah. I started to go somewhere, and then I did, too.

1:07:07 I was like, I'm not going. I'm not doing it. I'm not an accent guy. German accents, and that's it. So I'm not going to do it. Don't look at me like that. I'm not doing it. Oh, let's hear it. Let's hear it. We'll have. Let's go. [LAUGHTER] I did not do it. All right. Well, link it up with that. Let's end it. All right. Thank you, everybody. Thank you for listening. Yep. And see you next time. Next week? Hopefully. Bye.